Talk to me please

[Marshmellowbunny]

I don't know where else to post this but I've just found all of my chats on here amazing.

I'm really struggling.

I had brain surgery in January and nearly died and now I can't find happiness in anything.

My counsellor said it's because I'd accepted I was going to die and I was ok with it.

I don't really know where to go/what to do from here on out. Everything is getting back to normal but I just feel rubbish.

Anyway,
I'm posting here in the hopes that I can find someone that feels the same or someone that can understand me.

Thanks.

@Marshmellowbunny I have had several periods in my life where I could find no happiness in anything. And during each one I felt like I would never be able to feel happy ever again. And every time I did. You will too.

You have been through something I can't even imagine. No wondered that has taken its toll on you.

Have you ever felt like this before?

My counsellor said it's because I'd accepted I was going to die and I was ok with it.

Do you disagree with this opinion?

Oh OP you’ve done amazingly well. I haven’t got any experience of this in particular but I was dx with an incurable cancer (albeit I can live a long time with it) and the months / year after were some of the worst. I am sure it’s just our brain and bodies way of coping with a traumatic event. It’s early days for you yet as it was only January - be gentle with yourself. For me, I had to have a course of antidepressants and had extensive counselling. Your brain / body is probably still trying to protect you by not feeling much happiness - If you can’t feel, you can’t be hurt is a great coping mechanism at the time. My only advice if you want any, is to be really kind to yourself - think what is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now. To reach out for help from others - is there a support group or Facebook group you can join? To reach out to your gp to consider if antidepressants might help.

I've felt down and depressed before but never like this. It's the strangest, all consuming sadness!

I will come out the other side.

Thank you for responding. It's useful to know that it's just a human experience!

No. I think she's probably right. I just don't know how to carry on living now 🙈

I can image. Having accepted one path, made your peace with it and gone through the motions, your world has been upended. I think the first thing that will help is time and regaining normality - back to work if that's on the cards - then thinking about the goals you thought had vanished.

Travel, getting a pet, moving house - whatever it was that made your heart beat a bit faster pre op. Or maybe a full 180c turn. But take your time.

Do you have nightmares or flashbacks?

I was contemplating going to see my GP but I guess I have some hang ups about taking medicine 🤣

You're amazing 💝
I will just be kind like you suggest.
I don't have FB but I did go to a zoom support group and I ended up feeling worse because people are so much worse than me

Thank you for replying and talking to me.
It has helped for the minute! ❤️