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Shopaholic

4 replies

pushthebuttonnn · 27/06/2025 03:37

I've noticed that when I'm stressed and anxious (normally regarding work & finances) I turn to online shopping. Anything and everything. I just think things up that I don't need or really want but as soon as I look at it it will stay in my mind until I give in and buy it. I am getting into debt because of it but it just makes me feel so much better in the moment. It's like a stress reliever. I'd love to hear from fellow shopaholics and any ideas for alternative things I can go to instead of shopping eg podcasts etc. Sometimes I think I look at things (particularly clothes & jewellery) due to apathy. Thanks.

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GarlicMile · 27/06/2025 04:09

Me, too. I get obsessed by a genre of things - shoes, a hobby, handbags, plants when I had a garden; I could write a very long list of my consumerist brain-worms. I think of something I "would like" then, before I've realised, I'm frantically researching it and finding lots of other things to like!

These days I'm quite good at putting things in the trolley but holding off on checkout. It helps, especially if I can talk myself out of it before revisiting the site (instead of fantasising all the lovely things I can do with it!) During a particularly bad phase I just returned everything I'd bought. Can't do that with plants, food or some hobby stuff, but I was buying lots of clothes at the time.

Since my brain obviously loves rabbit-holes of ideas and discoveries, I've found I can spend just as long and get just as fired up about learning things. I'm very random in this; other people might find more joy in picking one topic and tackling it properly - maybe a language, a historical period or a completely new skill set.

What do you think your brain's searching for? With mine, it's looking for NEW, SHINY, INTERESTING but there's another, more insidious aspect to it as well, something like validation. I feel like this current new thing could make me a better person in some way (it won't) and that, by spending money, I'm proving my worth. My chaotic explorations of the Ancient Greek understanding of colour and why Central European countries are always fighting each other (etc!) are great for the INTERESTING need, but I have to be really careful about the validation thing.

I'd love to be able to give you a cure ... since I've just spent £250, of which £35 was actually necessary, I don't think I can 😳 All I can do is ask you for your thoughts on what you're looking for when you go shopping, and maybe talk about other ways of dealing with it.

pushthebuttonnn · 27/06/2025 07:13

Thank you for your kind and detailed response GarlicMile. Yes I think you are completely correct with the validation aspect. I definitely think the new clothes or makeup will make me look amazing next time I'm out! Like you I seem to focus on something in particular (usually clothes, but also makeup, jewellery, perfume) Every time I buy something I promise myself that will be it for a long while but then something else crops into my head! I definitely enjoy receiving deliveries, it's a thrill I suppose.

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Namechange032025 · 27/06/2025 16:48

I'm doing something similar but different, I order heaps of clothes then send 80% of it back as (surprised face!) it doesn't make me look like a film star.

But I can't bear the thought I've missed out on something that might. Just done a massive haul from Next and one pair of shorts are fab but sending rest back. I spend years of my life in the Post Office, shops returning stuff etc etc. Then I put loads on Vinted to afford to pay for the new stuff. And on it goes.

But the thrill when I see the Evri driver come up my hill 😄

Think it's boredom in my case.

pushthebuttonnn · 28/06/2025 06:46

Thank you namechange, it's nice to know we're not alone. And I completely resonate with buying things 'just incase' they look amazing on! I'm addicted to pyjamas from Next currently. So comfortable!! None of them get sent back lol.

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