I am homeless

[hnr2016]

I left my parents house due to my dad’s toxic behaviour and his emotional and mental abuse over the years. My mother has sided with him and has tried to say I am mentally unwell and called social services on me and have my daughter taken off of me. I’m not mentally unwell I’m just sick of being treated like crap by my dad.
Social services have been supportive so far and have said there aren’t issues they can see.

I went to the council who have told me to stay at my ex partners house (who is also my daughters dad and who lives 2 and a half hours away in a different county all together! ) but there is no room here at all, I’m sleeping on the floor and my daughter is in his bed, he is on the sofa. It’s not practical and I’m going back to my local housing council next week and need to let them know that the current situation isn’t working and we need somewhere more stable for not only my daughters needs (she’s in the process of getting a diagnosis for additional needs), but also for my own needs (I’ve got adhd and anxiety).

I am worried they’re going to put us in a hotel, as that would be too much for my daughter and I wouldn’t be able to meet her allergy needs there with no where to cook, etc.

mum absolutely terrified and don’t know where to go, I’m so worried we’re going to end up on the street. I can’t drive so can’t even live out of a car. I have no money until next pay day which is in a few weeks and I feel absolutely helpless :(

I’m so sorry OP what a difficult situation. You need to persevere with the council and take WHATEVER they offer you- that most likely will be emergency accommodation initially which depending on your area could be a hotel or flat share set up, you need to agree, because if you don’t then you are classed as making yourself intentionally homeless and the council won’t help you at all.

I really can’t stress enough the importance of accepting any help from the council even if it’s not what you would choose. It may be difficult to cook in a hotel but it will be even harder on the streets and that really is the alternative if you decline the council and become classed as intentionally homeless.

Thank you guys, I’m just worried how I will get food for her to eat without having a fridge to store it. We can’t leave the house everyday to go shopping as I don’t have unlimited money for taxis and she doesn’t like going to those places as it really impacts her additional needs. Will this be taken into account or not?

I suppose the thing is, how would you do that if you were homeless on the streets? You wouldn’t even have a house to leave then, or a fridge, or a bed to sleep in, so a hotel is far better than that. You need to accept the help they offer because otherwise you’re intentionally homeless and they don’t help you again, it is that way because if you really are homeless then you accept anything, if you turn it down then you have somewhere else to stay that’s a better option so don’t need help.

Your needs will be considered but the reality is that they can’t give what they haven’t got and there are thousands of people in the same position who have been on the list longer. You’ll be placed into emergency accommodation to resolve the imminent issue which could be a hotel or refuge type set up, flatshare, and then you go onto a list for somewhere more permanent. Where we are even in the top band it is still years, 5-7, for a 2 bedroom flat.

Sorry of course I do absolutely understand, apologies if I came across as ungrateful, it wasn’t intended that way, I’m just getting really anxious on how I will be able to feed my daughter when there is nothing available to use. Do they usually advise what we can do in these situations at all?

The council won’t provide that kind of advice in my experience, no. They have a duty to house you if homeless but that is where their duty ends. Have you checked to ensure you are claiming everything you are entitled to? When you have somewhere to stay you can also look at local support, food banks (you may need a referral but should be easy to get one given your situation), charity aid, where we are there are quite a few community kitchen type set ups so you just pop in and grab what you need, no payment or referral required.