Extreme anxiety, scared of going crazy/losing control

[Roxy1988]

I have suffered terribly with anxiety for a few years now after a breakdown at the end of 2021. I did have general anxiety prior to this but it didn't have any impact on my life.

The anxiety got so bad that my ex left me and took our daughter to live with him in 2023. Since the breakdown I have had periods of normality where I have been able to work but have recently left a job due to the anxiety. I have my daughter pretty much every other day but the last few months the anxiety has made me feel like I am going to lose my mind or go crazy and it makes me scared to be alone with my daughter who is 4 :(

Yesterday I actually debated taking myself to a&e or calling 111 :/

I was seeing a psychologist but after 16 sessions i feel no better so emailed her the other day saying I don't want to continue with the therapy. Only 8 sessions left and I really don't know what that is going to achieve.

I currently only take Citalopram 40mg but have been referred to a psychiatrist to discuss different medications.

I just need someone to tell me i am not going mad 😢

Gosh thank you so much if you got this far!

You’re not going mad. One of the most distressing symptoms of an anxiety disorder is thinking you’re going to go mad or end up with psychosis.

The citalopram might not be right for you, there are other SSRIs that you could try. contact your GP (an old school one) and ask for a couple of days worth of diazepam to calm your nervous system.

There are a few accounts on instagram that really help with “crazy” aspect of the illness. Anxietyjosh is a good one and peacewitthin another.

I’ve been there and I know how horrific and never ending this feels. Finding the right meds is crucial.

Also, when you get a grip on it, I’d recommend the DARE approach. It’s a book on Amazon and they also have an app you can download. It’s got some emergency talk downs if you feel like you’re spiralling. Download that tonight and just listen to the free SOS things. He literally tells you you are not insane, your nervous system is in overdrive

How old are you? Have you had a hormone check up it may be perimenopause
I had terrible panic attacks during pregnancy and start feeling sooo anxious at the start of perimenopause

if not , it’s just a case of finding the correct meds at the correct dose

it’s shit until you get there with correct dose and treatment , I also had therapy for my phobia total waste of time. You can’t talk away anxiety disorder unless it’s cause by trauma

@scotchbonnetface thank you so much for your reply. I actually called 111 just after I posted as felt so scared :(

I don't think Citalopram is right for me. I have tried quite a few over the past few years but think I expected each one to completely cure my anxiety which of course they didn't so I moved on to the next one. I do have diazepam to take as and when I need it which does help but obviously I can't take it everyday. Hopefully won't have to wait too much longer to speak to a psychiatrist to discuss different medications.

I will check out the instagram accounts! I will also check out the DARE approach thank you :)

@pimplebum thank you for your reply. I am 37. Pretty sure it isn't perimenopause. I had a particularly stressful year that led to the breakdown in 2021 and have just never fully recovered :( but yes i am hoping I can find the right medication to help.

If SSRI aren’t helping, when you get your appointment, ask about SNRIs. They work on another neurotransmitter as well as serotonin. It’s a long road but you will find your way out.

i had a breakdown at 19 that I didn’t source any help for for 3 years , due to the fear of being sectioned, and my 20s were non existent. I was a shell of a human being.

You can’t CBT or talk your way out of this shit, it need the right meds so you can get back to yourself. Then you can put strategies in place for if you have a blip, which you will, but you’ll also know there’s a way back. I hope it’s a short road for you and you feel better soon x

Agree with SNRI if you’ve tried SSRs. The psychiatrist will be able to help you through your options.

I’ve moved from Escitalopram to Sertraline due to depression and anxiety in menopause and it’s been much much better. I’m on max dose by psychiatrist explained that they can add on or swap and there are many many different types of treatments to try which made me feel
much better.

EDMR is also very good for PTSD if you’d consider that perhaps

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this... I've had the same feeling many times - it's very scary to feel like you're going crazy... I've had lots of therapy about it and aparently it's just a form
of anxiety... I think SSRIS really calm all of that down.. just want you to know you're not alone and it's more common than you think ...

Thank you for all your replies!

Now I have got it in my head that the psychologist may refer me to social services for not engaging in therapy that I clearly need :/ do you think this is a possibility?

Hey @Roxy1988how are you doing? Did it improve?

Hi OP, I think you need the psychiatrist appointment to look at your meds. They can totally reassess everything. They will see you in A and E if you feel terrible you can go there. Really hope you are feeling better today. 🌸

Hi @Roxy1988, I suffer with anxiety as well it really does make you feel like you are going mad. Also like you I’m now on citalopram 40mg which doesn’t seem to be doing much at all. I have paid privately to see a psychiatrist who has suggested I have depression manifesting as physical anxiety symptoms. Plan is to introduce pregabalin with a view to switching citalopram to venlafaxine. I’m scared to say the least. Let us know how you are getting on xx