Should I stop child contact?

[MamaBear81]

Hi all.
My ex DP is an alcoholic. I tried and tried to help him, pleaded with him to get treatment etc but he always refused. While drunk, he would be verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive (never physically, although he did often become aggressive and make threats).
This ultimately led to the breakdown of our relationship. His drinking hasn’t improved since then, if anything it has become worse.
We have a DD age 2, and he has another DD age 17.
I have been allowing him supervised contact with our DD and only while he is sober.
But recently he has begun harassing me constantly while drunk, continuously asking me to give him another chance. I continue to refuse this (been there, done that, still have the mental scars).
My refusal has led to him making suicide threats, and telling me he has made suicide attempts (although I don’t think this is true, I think it’s manipulation/emotional blackmail). He also regularly messages his other DD ‘saying his goodbyes’, often pretends to be someone else breaking the news to her that he is dead, and that he has been sexually abused (untrue).
This behaviour only ever happens when he is drunk, but he blames his mental health rather than alcohol, even though he doesn’t behave this way while sober.
His constant harassment towards me has led to me feeling uncomfortable with supervising his contact with our DD.
His mother (who I whole heartedly trust) has taken over with the role of supervising. She collects our DD, takes her to her house for contact, and returns her to me afterwards.
But 3 out of the last 4 times ex DP has asked to see DD, I have arranged it and he has got drunk and not turned up.
This, along with the suicide threats etc is making me feel like I should maybe stop contact with our DD until he is able to commit to being a stable, safe, consistent presence in her life.
Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.

Absolutely you should stop contact with her father, he's completely unstable. Will you let her go spend time with her grandmother anyway?

@FortyElephants yes her paternal grandparents would still be welcome to see her anytime they wanted. Update on the situation, his mother text me this morning telling me that she has had to throw him out of her house as he was drunk and playing up there last night. She took a bottle of vodka from him (which he was drinking straight from the bottle), he was violently sick but later went out and snuck another bottle back in, became aggressive and erratic. She won’t have him living there anymore now. So again he has been bombarding me with emails telling me about how I never did anything to try and help him, and that I’ve just turned my back on him and allowing him to go through hell on his own - he is conveniently forgetting the hell he put me through for years before I finally prioritised myself and left him though.
He is due an appointment with the community drug and alcohol team on Monday, claiming he is finally ready to get the help he needs (he’s done this before - made appointments and not gone to them). But now he is saying that because I won’t let him stay here, he’s not gonna bother going to his appointment as there is no point if he’s having to live rough.
Another thing he will now blame me for, he will now make out to everyone that he was ready to get the help but I ruined it for him.

Can you block him and get a new phone number?

And of course you should stop contact. The emotional abuse he perpetrates on his older child is unforgivable. Your child is better off without an emotional attachment to this man. And I do not say that lightly.

We have a a man within our extended family who is an alcoholic, and all this sounds very familiar. He's lost several relationships through alcohol (thankfully no children involved) and is currently estranged from his Mum. Extended family, including his Mum and friends have bent over backwards to help him. He's been in rehab three times, that I know of and has ended up sleeping on the streets. Do not allow this man into your life. Nothing you can say or do will ever change him. He's blaming others for the situation he's in, and refuses to acknowledge any responsibility. Exactly the same as my family member! They lie, manipulate and use emotional blackmail to get what they want. By all means allow access to your daughter's grandparents but you need to stop contact with her Dad. Tell him that until he's clean, he's not seeing your daughter, because his behaviour is erratic and unstable. Then block him on all forms of contact.

@AyeDeadOn @Sassybooklover yes I’ve already blocked him on all messaging platforms, aka social media and phone number. That doesn’t stop him though, he just uses other people’s phone’s to call/text me, and changing my number won’t help either as he uses friends accounts to contact me, and makes new ones of his own.
He is absolutely relentless.
Would i have grounds to file a complaint for harassment? As he’s not really sending anything threatening as such, just emotional manipulation threatening suicide, and talking about how i should be supporting him through this (as if I never tried, and lost myself in the process!) .. tells me I’m in denial and lying about not wanting to be with him, and that I’m just doing it to punish him etc..
I’ve kept all messages, including the several I’ve previously sent back to him asking him to please leave me alone (sent before I started ignoring him.)