Help! Anyone with OCD relate?

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I have OCD for most of my adult life but now I’m in my 40s it’s getting a little bit out of hand! I’m packing to go on holiday tomorrow and have been obsessed that I might accidentally be packing something flammable (lighter/hairspray etc) I’ve packed and repacked about three times. I’ve taken photos and videos but I’m driving myself crazy! Im a single mother so it’s just me and my daughter, I think my OCD is exasperated when there has been lots to do and I also got my period today too! I know in the morning I’ll check and re check every candle and light switch! I always laughed at my OCD but it’s slowly taking over my life xxx

My OCD has been hugely helped by sertraline, have you considered medication?

@ninjahamsterno, to be honest I’ve always thought it was a quirk of my personality but now it’s starting to piss me off! Do you find it stops you over checking and worrying

A brilliant psychiatrist once said that OCD is a manifestation of an exhausted mind. When the brain is tired, thoughts 'stick'. For example, a passing thought of "did I check the cooker? If I don't check again the house may burn down"

We then add (second) fear to that thought which then increases exhaustion. This way the mind loses it's resilience and plays the record over and over hence we keep checking etc.

It's only when we allow the thought to spend itself, let it wash over you (you have to read the book to know exactly how to do this) float away, will the brain become strong again. Then we see the thoughts for what they are. Just thoughts.

Knowing this has helped me. I will check and recheck if I have to. But I know that it's an exhausted brain that's all.

Thought it may help you.

Medication will help reduce your symptoms, but OCD is best treated with therapy such as CBT or ERP. Don't let it go untreated as a stressful event could ignite your fairly mild symptoms into major ones. (I have a close family member struggling with severe OCD and I would not wish it on anyone)

I’m sorry to hear this, it’s exhausting isn’t it? Are you seeing a therapist? I am currently in the process of challenging the ocd thought cycle. It’s rough but it is working. In my case, I’m trying to live with “contamination” rather than obsessively cleaning my hands. I’m also obsessive about taps and making sure they’re off and can easily get into a few-hour long cycle of checking the same tap over and over. At the moment, I’m learning to check it once and thoroughly and then go to bed “knowing” it’s off (spoiler alert, it always is). It’s hard when your head won’t stfu but please try to check your bag then walk away and do something distracting like watch tv. Eventually, try and walk away and not distract yourself, just sit with the discomfort. It’s scary but do it anyway, it’s the only way to break the chain.

My first suggestion would be the video and photo, but then read that’s what you’d done.
I often end up doing this, and just knowing I have evidence is sometimes enough.
I’m sorry that hasn’t worked and I know exactly how you feel. For me it’s the hob being switched off, although it always used to be the hair straighteners. Never once on checking have I ever left these on, yet that doesn’t stop me thinking I need to check.

I hope you can find something to help & that you enjoy your holiday.

Thanks everyone for your help! And solidarity and comments! All reassuring I’m not alone but also WILD that nobody really talks about OCD! I do take photos and videos just spent about an hour taking g a picture of every plug, candle I can see! Trouble is it’s not actually a safety net as I think think, what if my daughter accidentally did something! To be honest I’ll be fine once away! @numberedoutthis is such a perfect explanation of OCD! It’s exasperated when I’ve had too much to do, the mental load is high and add in the period it’s a shit show!!!!

thanks for the support! Have zipped up the suitcases and left them by door! It’s weird with ocd it’s like I’m constantly looking for new things to be obsessive about xxx

Sorry realised my last message didn’t really make sense! Lots of mumble and typos. Hopefully you can read between the lines xxx

Does worst case scenario thinking help ?

by this I mean if you have packed those item what is worst thing that would happen

the suitcase would be pulled to one side and items removed and put in those bins , you lose can of spray that’s all , no fine , no arrest, no one is hurt

can you write that down and repeat it ?
also please don’t suffer alone, see your gp for therapy and meds

Stop apologising this makes perfect sense , be kind to yourself

Thanks @pimplebumthis is great advice! I also keep thinking there will be some people who are the total opposite to me and will assume you can put everything and anything in their suitcase and I don’t have any control over them! It’s catastrophising! I find NHS support for OCD/anxiety is appalling. I was only ever offered CBT which I find more overwhelming when going through an episode

Also @pimplebumgreat name haha