Ruminating on driving mistakes

[DandyTaupeHiker]

I've been driving for almost a year and haven't really had many issues with driving other than the odd stall or small roll back on a hill. But my one true enemy when it comes to driving is amber lights. I always take my foot off the accelerator when approaching lights incase they change and I need to brake for pedestrians. There have been times however where I've been approaching lights that have been green for a bit and just as I approach the white line they turn amber and I continue through them as I'm afraid the car behind will go into me if I brake harsh.

Today was one of those days and it's really stressed me out because I feel like I'm in the wrong and shop stop at the light but again the light turns amber just as I hit the white line so I continue.

Anyone else have struggles with this? I always stop for amber's if I can see it and stop safely as I hate driving through them incase a pedestrian were to walk out.

Any advice on how to not let this get to me? Tips for approaching amber's.

Thanks

Yes! I often overthink amber lights. If it changes when I am close I start to break then I realise I am too close to stop safely and accelerate again and then wonder if actually I should have stopped. I must look like an idiot sometimes going slower and faster on the approach. I don’t think there is a good answer other than to remember that amber lights are not red lights. It is a warning that red is coming. Either stopping or continuing through if it is safer are both reasonable outcomes.

@Bobbie12345678 yes I totally know what you mean. I always stop for them if I am 1 car length from the light when it begins to turn and the car behind me is more than 1 car length behind. But it can be really difficult to judge what to do when your bumper is just about to hit the white line when it turns amber and another car is following close behind.

It sounds like you’re driving safely! That’s why it’s amber and not straight from green to red.

You’re overthinking it. The reason they have amber is to give you warning that they’re going to go red. If you’re that close to the junction that you can’t stop safely i.e. without doing an emergency stop then you continue on through, which is fine, because an amber light is not a red light.

You are overthinking it, but I've been driving for 40 years and still overthink it sometimes too, because each time is slightly different and sometimes I do go through and think "maybe I could have stopped then". Then I have an imaginary conversation with a police officer where I explain that I would have had to do an emergency stop. But then it's done, move on, I see people do far worse than me every day, often I go though and think hmm was that a bit marginal and then see the car behind me sail through too.

My driving instructor allways told me if you've committed then you follow through if your past the white line on amber u follow through if its safe to do so. So don't worry to much lol

Always approach for a stop. If you're close and committed keep going as long as its definitely not on red. Don't think about the driver behind, that's for them to judge and deal with. If they're so close they may hit you, they're in the wrong as they'll be driving without due care. It's not a race so keep your eyes on the road ahead and worry about what's in front.

I only stop at amber if the traffic is backing up and I would obstruct if I was to go through creating further congestion or in a yellow box. Or unless I'm metres away when it has changed.
But amber is for getting ready to stop. So no need to stress if you go through.

I did this - slow down then realise I’d stop over the line so sped up again. Got a ticket for that from the police who said amber means stop unless you can’t and had a go at me for not being able to quote the Highway Code 🙄

I think of Amber as the "on your marks, get set" before the "go" or stop in this case

The Highway Code says that if you are over the stop line or so close that stopping would cause and accident then you should continue. Only stop if safe to do so. I've been driving for 50 years

You’re overthinking it. You sound fine as a driver.

I was driving in inner London (E1) earlier this afternoon and the driving here would give you a heart attack. No-one here pays attention to Amber. Some drivers barely pay attention to Red. I stopped at some lights (I was the first car that actually stopped) but THREE cars in front of me went straight through on Red. Hate to imagine how many also went through on Amber. I’m used to the appalling driving near me (generally best to assume that the rules are that there are no rules and to expect the unexpected) but even I was a bit gobsmacked. It was a new level of blatant.

The ‘joke’ about driving in London is that Green means Go, Amber means Go and Red means think about it for a second and then Go. Starting to think that’s not actually a joke.

I once got pulled by police for same scenario. They asked what my thought process was. I said same as you. I got 3points.😬. Worst thing was I had my pj's on😂 and had to get in back of police.

How on earth can you stop for Amber if it changes when you are at the white line?

One of the driving rules is that you shouldn't do something that could cause other drivers to have to stop abruptly or change course. So if you're literally at the line and then stop, you could have a chancer behind you who thought they'd be carrying on and is now ploughing into you behind.

I always make a judgment based on my distance from the line and my speed. If its gone amber and I'm looking at literally slamming the brakes to make a stop, then I'm going to carry on. That's never resulted in running a red light.

Obviously if there are pedestrians waiting to cross then I'm going to check my mirror behind me and will most likely slam my brakes. Rather someone crashed into my behind than a car behind me crashes into a pedestrian.

It also depends on speed for me - in my examples above I'm thinking of 50mph roads (I live near an airport and industrial estates so we have loads of these with traffic lights). If it's a 20-30mph road I think you can stop pretty effectively at a very short distance.

The tricky ones are probably where it's 40mph, that's quite a speed to stop suddenly at. And also those ones are the crossings where you sort of don't get pedestrians often.
So I'm especially watchful of what is going on at those.

You’ll get used to it with more experience. We’ve all gone through an amber and thought ‘should I have stopped?’ But you sound like you’re weighing it up correctly. If approaching and see amber, you stop . If it goes to amber as you’re passing then carry on .

@Nextdoormat oh wow that's my fear that it would happen. I didn't realise you could get points.

You're not in the wrong and you sound like you're handling the lights really safely 👌

I would suggest focusing less on the actual thing you're ruminating about (lights) and more on tactics and strategies to manage the rumination.

We all have ruminations and intrusive thoughts, although theres a difference between that normality and when they distress or disable you.

My own technique is just to let the thought come into my head and repeat itself as it is wont to do, and it sort of just plays itself out.

And I nearly pulled out on two cars earlier, wasnt paying attention and those two examples have been running through my head the rest of the day. Unpleasant.