world crashing down

[lostdad85]

I'm 40. this morning I found out my 14 month old boy who is my whole world may not be mine. me and his mum broke up a year ago. just before we found she was pregnant she went on a girld holiday with her friend. I always suspected she slept with someone (lomg story) but she always denied it. today I asked her again and finally broke her. the way she acted trying you calculate her concieved date was one of a few triggers. turns out her sleeping with someone else and conceiving is around 7-10 days diffrenent to her cheating. I can't can't explain the breakdown I had in the carpet this morning. I was meant to having little man as we share 50 /50 (not courts). I told her I couldn't have him. I could hardly breath.
I'm a complete mess
. I've ordered a dna kit. but the not knowing and waiting is gonna kill me. plus I feel soo bad I didn't take him today. I just felt it wasn't safe as I dunno how I even drove the 40 mins back home without crashing. I'm a state

I wanted to give your thread a nudge. Hope somebody who has experienced a similar scenario will come along to post some helpful advice. So sorry you're going through this; it is unimaginable.

Don’t feel bad about not taking him today. I haven’t been through this, I can’t imagine how distraught you are feeling.
know that your feelings are completely valid and you are allowed to feel them. What a shock to receive.
Follow through with the DNA test, take each minute, hour and day as it comes in the meah time. Practice some breathwork (6 in 8 out, box breathing etc) to help you settle down your nervous system.
You will get through this, you will survive it, no matter.