Am I losing my mind

[Poodlepuppymama]

I’m a younger woman and this has gone on for years but it is getting to a point where I am questioning my sanity and wondering if it’s possible that I could have some kind of memory loss.
My husband and I will be talking and he’ll mention something I hadn’t heard and I’ll say something like oh when did that happen? And he is automatically defensive and is like I told you about that 2 weeks ago-
I’ve stopped arguing that he hasn’t told me and have just started saying I have no recollection of that because I truly don’t and because it doesn’t end in a fight that way.
Just today he said something about someone’s text to him about picking up pig’s for them and I was like oh they want us to pick them up? And immediately he’s defensive and telling me yes I told you This like a month ago- I told you the whole conversation I had with them. He is dead serious when he is saying it too. I literally feel like I’m losing my mind- I don’t just forget entire conversations- I’m 35 years old.
I don’t know what to do or how to confront him about it

Wow! Either he's becoming forgetful or theres some pure gaslighting going on there! That's very strange behaviour!

It could be him gaslighting you.

What's your relationship like generally?

Just to add as well, if this was genuine and you are genuinely forgetting all of these conversations, why isn't he showing any concern and perhaps suggesting a trip to the GP?

I’d start making notes of everything he says . See if it keeps happening. Either you genuinely can’t remember or he’s gaslighting you or he genuinely THINKS he has told you .

How do we know that you aren’t forgetting all these things OP?

The issue either way… is his response to you. Defensive and rude

Bloody hell. If you’re reduced to doing that in a marriage… it’s dead in the water

Does anyone else notice you forgetting things they have told you? Or just him? I wonder if you are genuinely forgetting or he's gaslighting you.

No, other people do not tell me that I’ve forgotten something…

You work? Have children? Friends?

If he’s the only one then it’s a him problem. Either he’s has a memory problem or he’s deliberately messing with your mind.

It was weird for me to read this because this happens to me too. My husband will say they we've discussed something and I don't remember it. We've had a lot of arguments about it in the past. Both of us say that it feels like the other is gaslighting us. Our relationship is otherwise good. I'm also mid 30s.
I don't know what to suggest. I also thought about writing down everything that we talk about, but practically that is impossible to do!

It seems odd to me that the first reply you get has two possibilities, but both blaming the husband: Wow! Either he's becoming forgetful or theres some pure gaslighting going on there!
Before you "confront" him in some aggressive way, why don't you get your memory tested? It's possible that you're tuning him out. It's possible that you have some pre-menopausal hormonal memory problem. It's possible that he's forgotten that he had these conversations with his "other wife."
Meanwhile, if he asks you to do something, ask him nicely to text it to you. Then maybe you'll have some trail of evidence.

Why did you feel the need to quote the OP twice? You were the first and third reply ffs

What an odd poster

@CountryQueen that is, needless to say

Are you forgetful in other contexts? With friends, family, at work etc? The problem could be entirely him if it's not you. Whether that's deliberate or not only you can decide.