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Feel like I'm going to break

3 replies

Dinosauru · 04/06/2025 13:46

I'm really struggling. I live with my partner and lovely 2 year old. 18 months ago my partner had a bit of a freak accident and damaged his spine, he had an operation 6 months ago ago is worse than before. He's able to look after himself most days now but it's not consistent as he has good and bad days. He can't really help much with my daughter and round the house but he does help with cooking and few other things. Our financial situation is dire so I will be going to work and my daughter will be going to daycare. We managed to find a place for her but she caught a bug and developed bronchitis. I was expecting this but she's been off for 4 weeks. When she is ill I feel like I'm in prison because if she has to stay at home, I need to stay with her. It's really getting to me, I think because I was mentally prepared for a bit of respite and it hasn't happened. I'm trying to apply for jobs but don't have time and have been struggling not to cry in job interviews. My family can't help as I live abroad and my partner's family know we are struggling but they can't help much or won't. I don't have many friends here, pretty much all of them are also busy Mum's with small children and they can't really help either. I really don't know where to turn. It feels like every time I try to move forwards I have to deal with another setback. Just such a failure.

OP posts:
TryForSpring · 04/06/2025 15:09

That is so much to be coping with, @Dinosauru. What jumps out is that you are feeling a failure, despite the fact that you're just trying to cope with the fallout of an awful accident and ongoing health issues. You are not a failure, and it only makes you feel so much worse if you blame yourself. It's a coping mechanism that doesn't actually help.

Have a look at Kristin Neff's self-compassion work or this book as a way to try to reframe how you're managing;

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reality-Slap-2nd-survive-thrive-ebook/dp/B08YDJGRCZ?ref=asttauthordp&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UMzIlvhq3M6bhDK1OONWTZ4AzUDVS5HfO5uJ2jBhlQ9DqopzXmj2cmb-VV5D-1sGbxQtEaDS9QtKTp3GGx3GY0rD3HSJ0yMAHn8FG7sWlqfqEb8Sh0cqK0GHtJwkr5TG.j6LNkJWdBYFPFGh6S35Ta0LAKU3spxqqy5BRySiPpI&dibtag=AUTHOR

Dinosauru · 04/06/2025 19:33

Thank you, looks like a useful read

OP posts:
TryForSpring · 04/06/2025 19:55

Dinosauru · 04/06/2025 19:33

Thank you, looks like a useful read

It helped me a lot. I find Kristin's self-compassion harder to put into practice, but I think it is the key to getting through difficult times 💙

ppinaction.com/blog/f/three-gateways-to-self-compassion

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