Daisy Lanyards - anyone actually treat anyone differently for wearing one ?

[Lovetocook49]

Sat at the airport and to start , I will say I have looked after/ taught/ provided respite for people with additional needs for 35 years. I live and breathe SEND , I am friends with families of past students and clients. I absolutely understand disability.

All I am wondering is -

Do people who wear Daisy lanyards get treated differently because wearing one ? Do people get treated differently abroad if wearing one?

I get the invisible disabilities thing, I have argued with many a person using a disabled toilet because they have small children with them ( and it was always as more convenient, never once a genuine reason) whilst I waited with a soiled / distressed child who needed the facility, stood my ground when people have been rude to pupils, stood in theme park queues before a pass was a thing - but a Daisy lanyard that anyone can purchase? Does it help ?

I got DS a sunflower one (is that what you mean?) When we were going on holiday. The airport staff were good a spotting us and calling us over to bypass queues etc. They would probably have let us go that way without one, but I wouldn't have known where to ask or what was available to ask for, so the prompt for them to offer accommodations was great.

It was also handy in security checks (the machine beeped on DS, so he needed to go through the scanner). Obviously they still had to do the checks, but they were more patient when it took a bit longer for DS to understand what he needed to do, and understood he wasn't being intentionally difficult.

I got DS a sunflower one (is that what you mean?) When we were going on holiday. The airport staff were good a spotting us and calling us over to bypass queues etc. They would probably have let us go that way without one, but I wouldn't have known where to ask or what was available to ask for, so the prompt for them to offer accommodations was great.

It was also handy in security checks (the machine beeped on DS, so he needed to go through the scanner). Obviously they still had to do the checks, but they were more patient when it took a bit longer for DS to understand what he needed to do, and understood he wasn't being intentionally difficult.

For me they simply flag up that I should be more patient if a person appears to be struggling in any way.
Most people wouldn’t choose to wear one unless they needed it. Anyone who does have one without any disabilities is a bit of a twat but they’re always going to be that, lanyard or not.

I agree entirely, but I also observe that there are a lot of twats about. People wear the lanyard to get fast track without having to pay. The airport I regularly use has ended up putting people with disabilities through the fast track because it's empty, but there are huge queues at the accessible track. Funnily enough I often see the same people having not a single problem in duty free or rushing to get off the plane the other end.

I really think the vast majority of the public has no idea what they are

I find it helpful, a lot of people seem to but a lot less understanding of adults with disabilities compared to kids, so it’s more like a I’m not being weird/annoying/doing this deliberately/wigging out because of booze or whatever thing for me , it’s due to my disability and I think it helps people be patient/understanding.

fwiw I’ve never had major problems in duty free as it’s not enclosed and it’s easy to essentially move away from people vs a trapped in queue, like wise I want off the plane asap at the other end for the same reasons.

Weirdly this cropped up yesterday for me. I was on the Metro with ds (13) and a youngish lad (maybe early 20s) got on with his dad.

I'd not noticed them bar admiring his trainers but ds noticed he was wearing a green lanyard and nudged me to get up. The dad thanked us for the seats and it was only as they walked over that I noticed that the lad was unsteady on his feet. He seemed to be non verbal too and must have had additional needs that weren't noticeable at first glance to me.

Yes i think they do. I was in a premier inn with my autistic friend who got in a muddle ordering breakfast and was starting to get stressed. The waitress offered her a piece of paper and a pen and said she could write down what she wanted and she would come back and collect it. I think she only did that because it clued her in this wasnt just someone being indecisive.

Loads of people at work who don’t have extra needs wear them ‘to be supportive’. My first thought was it’s doing the exact opposite because if people who don’t need them wear them then it’s pointless.

I’ve never heard of them

Assuming the op means sunflower lanyards, I disagree, and I'd be surprised if I met someone who works in a public-facing role who was unfamiliar with them.

DD has a sunflower one for disabilities not mental health. I don't know of a mental health daisy lanyard, just the sunflower. She doesn't always wear it (self conscious teen) but sometimes has it on her if she's in a crowd and finding it difficult.

The only place it's made a significant difference is at airports where it is well recognised in the UK and some other countries. We've been directed to quieter and quicker queues when staff have seen the lanyard.

I am late diagnosed female with autism. I managed almost 40 years without knowing and so I can/am expected to do life unsupported. However I do use the sunflower lanyard, when im on the train, its attached to my keys so i let a little hang out; so the ticket inspector can see im not being awkward, if i ignore/dont hear him or take my time finding my ticket.

Anyone can buy one online now

My daughter has a sunflower lanyard that she wears occasionally and most people seem to understand it signifies she has some kind of disability.

She has Tourette’s and if she’s quite ticcy will wear it as she thinks it stops people thinking she’s just being “weird” (her words). I have noticed people treat her differently when she’s ticcing if she’s wearing the lanyard than she’s not.

Last time we flew, Security at the airport seemed to notice it and ignore the “drugs up my ass” tics

Saw someone in the airport today wearing one with an attached card saying she had adhd and an explanation. I think a lot of people do know what they’re for.

Could you suggest your work puts out a note for people not to do that?

That is ridiculous and HR should sort it

@Lovetocook49 if you mean sunflower lanyard, yes I think many people know what they are.

You can't always see how people struggle. That's the whole blooming point.

I get ill very rapidly if I stand in a queue. I get ill more slowly if I walk too far (more than a few hundred metres). But I can easily stroll around a shop or walk myself off a plane.

I now use a wheelchair at airports because otherwise I would end up unable to swallow or see or hold my head up for most of the holiday. But I can walk the dog half a mile or so on a good day.

Sure there may be people who misuse them, but it's not on you to be "sure" who is missing them based on what you observe . People can have conditions with no outward sign. My gait isn't affected at all until I have hugely overdone it, but I ought to stop activity long before I reach that point because it's dangerous for me to overdo it that much

My neurologist absolutely understands and can explain why I can do careful amounts of activity but any more than that can rapidly make me dangerously ill. I've got used to the fact the rest of the world is largely to ignorant to grasp this.

I hopped out of my electric wheelchair yesterday to go and pick up the dog's poo from 20 metres or so away. DD (11) heard a lady make bitchy comments about the fact I can actually walk. It's just utter ignorance.

Anyone can buy a walking stick online too, or glasses, or a wheelchair...

Yes there might be a few idiots doing this to take advantage but th majority of people aren't that awful.

Can I just say, you don't get the invisible disabilities thing if you've argued with people using disabled toilets with young children. My husband has often used a disabled toilet when our children were young as he has a stoma and needs the space to empty it and then immediately wash his shit covered hands. Obviously you can't just leave young children outside a toilet. And the people who confront him can just fuck off. So fed up with that shit.

Agree. Similarly when my daughter was too little to leave outside the disabled toilet but I needed to use it, what was I meant to do? Disabled people can be parents too. If someone challenged me I would see no reason to give them a serious answer. My health issues are private.

My friend’s son has one but only wears it to theme parks / airports / days out I.e anywhere they don’t want to queue. It infuriates me that someone would abuse it in this way (she boasts about him wearing it whenever they think it might get them ‘special’ treatment).

I’m autistic and have a sunflower lanyard which I use at the airport or other places there might be crowds and a chance of me getting in a flap. I think it helps.

I think covid kind of ruined it everyone was wearing them so that people didn't question mask wearing. Shops and supermarkets where giving them out for free to anyone who asked at the time.