Therapy to change emotional reactions- does this exist?

[TherapyQuery]

Apologies for the badly worded title but I’m not entirely sure if what I’m looking for even exists.

Basically, I have noticed as I’ve got older that certain things from my childhood and teenage years, particularly relating to my mum, are becoming more and more prominent in my memories and are affecting the way I react to situations now. This translates to me often feeling resentful towards my mum and as a result I will go into a type of ‘shutdown’ as a coping mechanism which doesn’t help anyone. Outwardly I’ll carry on being polite and as normal as I can be, but inwardly I’m irritated and sad and feel like I’m shutting myself into my own little safe space. My mum will notice at times and ask if I’m ok, and I always say I am as there is nothing that she could do now to change what’s passed. I love my mum and want to see her, and I have tried talking to her previously but it hasn’t ended well as she was unable to see any of my point of view. My mum also struggles with her mental health and can get very distressed which makes difficult conversations even harder.

I feel like I need to almost re-learn my instinct to shut down in order to get past this - is there some sort of therapy that exists that can help me do this? I know about CBT for anxiety for example, but not sure if this would be helpful in my case. I really want to keep a relationship with my mum but it’s making me feel crappy at the moment.

Thanks for reading.

Therapy would help you work through the emotions, and maybe the courage to talk to your mum?

I would reccomend CBT

Yes there is.. it's called EMDR.

www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/

Also dbt-dialectical behaviour therapy.

All of the above might work. Internal Family systems IFS might Aldo be what you are looking for. An integrative or pluralistic therapist will be able to use various approaches to specifically support your needs in a way that suits you.

Something has triggered this introspection into your younger life - do you know what it is?

When we remember words and situations from the past we experience them as we did at that time (how could we do anything else?) and not with an adult perspective. Do you think it's possible to have a (very gentle) conversation with your mum to see how she remembers things? Start with neutral or positive things to begin with and see where you individual memories agree and where they diverge.

In answer to your actual question (!) yes, it is possible to change emotional reactions, but figuring out why they are there in the first place - and if those reactions are valid - will make the change easier and permanent. It's the sort of thing I work with regularly.

In some areas the NHS offers emotional regulation skills via the CMHT
you may need a GP referral.
You potentially won’t need or fit the criteria for DBT (a pp mentioned DBT) but some skills would be useful I think.
this might be done via group work (don’t rule it out without trying) or some one to one sessions with a suitable clinician such as a CPN.
in my area (midlands) they offer 10 sessions around distress tolerance and another 10 around emotional regulation. It’s group,work but people don’t sit round discussing all their deep issues, it’s about learning the skills together and doing practice in between. Then if people feel comfortable, updating the co-attendees what they have found useful and where the skills help day to day.