I’m a waste of space

[Strawred]

Who can’t cope with their asd child so turns to drink. That’s it really. Sat here a bit tipsy (I know, a Wednesday afternoon) because the only way I don’t have a breakdown is if I’ve got that relaxed feeling from alcohol

That’s great your parents help.. what’s your husband doing besides ‘shouting’ at you for having a drink?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.
MNHQ💐

Sending u massive hugs and pls don’t be too hard on yourself xxx

Can anyone help. I don’t want to die but I also don’t want to live the life I’m living. I love my parents, my family, my children and my partner but I can’t take much more. When will I have peace? I don’t know. What do I do

Oh darling, I wish I could give you a hug.
I know it wouldn’t make things be any easier for you but hopefully it would make you feel that somebody cared about you and how you were feeling.
l’m granny to a 4 year old grandson and a nearly 4 year old granddaughter and I would be devastated for them (and myself) if I thought their mummies were feeling so desperate.
Have you got a mum, or perhaps an auntie that you could reach out to? Xx

Just seen your post about your mum and dad helping.
could you tell them just how unwell you are feeling? xx

@fudgesmummy i could but do you think I am actually unwell? I don’t want to come across attention seeking etc xx

I want my mum and dad but I don’t want them to hate me

I am going to walk to their house in an hour maybe I will stay in the park or maybe I will go to their house I don’t know a night in the park alone sound appealing how bad is is that!! I’m so sorry I don’t want to be like this

I do think I am unwell I am already on Sertraline 150mg it helps with my terrible anxiety but nothing else. My dream is to be able to die but to also come back alive when you see the people you love hurt.

my lovely brother is an alcohol he’s not around right now but will be. My ears are ringing I just want to run away. I love my children but cant cope. I’m a horrible person a night alone in the park might help along other people I have never met before. Thank you Mumsnet for all the lovely people on here. The monster I live with is horrible

OP please tell your parents how you are feeling, if you can't bring yourself to say the words then show them this thread.

A GP appointment first thing to get help.

Are your DCs in a school? Speak to the DSL/SENCO and ask for a referral for support with your DC. A support worker that can give you some respite, it sounds so relentless.

Could you stay at your parents this week with your son? And maybe they can help you and you can have a bit of a break. Tell them you're struggling with him, they know your situation and I'm sure they'll understand. You absolutely can do this, as you have been and brought up this Amazing little boy. You just need some support because that sounds really really tough. Is in he school/nursery? I know it's half term. Sending all the love xx

Staying a week with her son is not going to help. Her son needs to stay with her dh and let her have a complete week off. Rest, sleep and access any services for herself and her son that she can. And they are unfortunately hard to access.

For all those saying respite or help is out there, it's not. It's really not.

Op, go to your parents, or a hotel, don't stay in the park. Call Samaritans or speak to friends or family. Get somewhere safe and take things a step at a time.

Sorry if not OP. Guess I just assumed DH would be at work

@Strawred You certainly do sound very unwell darling.
my DD is probably a similar age to you and I most certainly would not hate her if I knew she was so unhappy.
I would do everything in my power to help her, perhaps sit down and work out a plan to try and relieve the pressure on you.
Please get yourself somewhere safe x

They are not going to hate for struggling, it's human. Please go to them and tell them how you're feeling.

Does your husband usually shout at you instead of offering support?