I’ve thinking about this a lot recently, I’ve posted about this before but a few years ago the police contacted me about the rape I reported as a teenager, nearly 30 years ago.
They wanted to reopen my case, a trial happened and I was the main witness, it was horrendous.
I had such an abusive childhood, neglect, SA, emotional abuse, lived in a shithole world surrounded by people that hated me. My dad started of good but left and barely glanced back.. leaving me in a terrible world.
I believe my childhood made me a vulnerable teenager and it’s why I then ended up raped and left for dead, it’s also that lack of love that meant the police could dismiss when I reported at the time.
I know I finally got some justice with the case being reopened and I try and tell myself I got a lot more justice than most rape victims get but god I’m angry.
I thankfully have a nice life now, with a loving husband and kids but the smallest things are dragging me back.
I was just on social media and saw a Kylie Minouge dance clip, I loved her as a kid… And then it starts, I can see myself at 8 years old trying to learn the location and I just feel so upset and angry for the little girl that I was.
I feel like the court case has opened up the floodgates of my past and I can’t look at a photo or listen to a song without wanting to hit someone or cry. I’m so tired of it, does it ever end or will this affect me forever.