Is this mental health or neurodiversity (or both)

[Timmymallet]

For a long time I've had imposter syndrome and this overwhelming fear that I'm not good enough at work, that I'm about to receive a bollocking or an email to say I've done something terrible. I'm naturally a very anxious person I think - don't really remember a time I've ever not been worrying about something or overthinking from being a child. My mother is also highly anxious so may have picked it up from her.

I'm completely hopeless at making decisions and I always rely on other people to tell me what to do because I'm petrified of making the wrong choice.

My stomach is more or less always churning but I'm almost used to it. I think I'm probably a relatively "high functioning anxious" in that people think I'm high energy, conscientious etc but lately the mask is starting to slip because some stressful life events have happened and I've had to be signed off sick as I woke up one morning and had a huge panic attack and couldn't go. It was like my legs wouldn't work I literally froze - I've never known what freeze flight fight really meant until that moment.

Anyway I have been reading a little lately about ADHD in women and how they are often misdiagnosed with anxiety and wondered if that could be the reason for all my over thinking. i just don't know why I'm always so anxious and my brain never gives me a break. It's like I'm permanently in survival mode and it's exhausting.

Head along to your GP for advice. It could be generalised anxiety, autism or a mental health condition such as borderline personality disorder, an assessment from a professional seems like the best
next step.
Best wishes.

I've been diagnosed with GAD in the past. I just wondered whether there could be anything else to it. I'm just always worrying about something and something I've came to accept but I'm so fed up with it at the same time.

look into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

I just have - reads very relatable!

Sounds like OCD.

Not sure about that. I don't have the repetitive behaviours or compulsions

I have this and I have adhd/ asd. However my fear is based on reality. I am frequently rejected, dressed down, shamed etc. When you're neurodivergent, people seem to justify behaving in a way they wouldn't do to others, so yes, I'm always wary/ on edge around those outside of my inner circle. This is the most damaging part of a wider package with neurodivergence, some of which is positive. Consider other aspects too, OP, to see what aligns. Most importantly try to unpick the root of it. It may be anxiety, and that's what everyone will tell you because it's harder to accept that for some people, the fear is justified.

I am truly sorry for your experience. You make some very interesting points. There have been plenty times I've been told I'm overthinking things and then had plenty evidence that I've actually been right. I think it's how upset and panicky I get that is the issue. I am such a people pleaser and have no confidence in myself or my decision making. I can't ever speak up for myself because I was always taught as a child that it's cheeky. It's actually pathetic

Journaling might help you explore what's really going on. The problem with confiding in others is that often anxiety is applied as a way to dismiss real experiences and put the responsibility back onto the individual. A therapist might help but it's not easy to find the right one. One that's trauma informed and understands neurodivergence would be a starting point but like you, I'm a people pleaser which makes it difficult to judge anything but ourselves so you could spend a lot of time and money on something that isn't actually helpful. That's why I prefer writing and reading about neurodivergent experiences. Good luck, you're not alone with this.

Been feeling quite down about it - it's finally hit me how often it's ruined aspects of my life. On the waiting list for therapy but god knows how long that will take. Unsure whether to admit defeat with work and consider doing something less stressful and anxiety provoking. Infact I know that's probably what I need.

Please don't do that!

I'm a bit late to this thread but this line jumped out at me My mother is also highly anxious so may have picked it up from her. Just because you learnt that high anxiety was normal it doesn't have to blight your adult life. It IS possible to change the way you think. I can't comment on the possible neurodiversity but I can tell you the anxiety is resolvable.

I could have written this. Do you also feel like even though you try and keep yourself to yourself and avoid all conflict that trouble just comes looking for you anyway ?

Thank you for your kind message. I just feel like I've tried all the usual CBT type strategies but get nowhere and it's so disheartening and exhausting x

Understood. The problem with CBT is that it deals in logic when a lot of issues are based in emotion. There's a lot of info on (my take on) how the mind works on my AMA - you might find it useful.

How do I find your AMA @Eyesopenwideawake ?

@Timmymallet https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/4559328-im-a-hypnotist-remedial-not-stage-ama?page=1

Brilliant thank you. I know someone who has had excellent results with this type of therapy for a different matter. I don't know why I didn't think of it for me

I overcome overthinking with the words from above and self.

OCD - particularly related to neurodivergence - often manifests as overthinking. I have a diagnosis of OCD and that's how it manifests in me.

ETA I had CBT for a while. The therapist referred to "obsessive ruminations."