I have been taking my son to a group run by a group of mums for special needs kids for a few years. It has been good for him to mix with other people but I feel am very different to them. I am quite quiet and not that good socially it turns out. For ages I have felt so out of place and so anxious whenever i have to go. They are a classic mean girls group with a ring leader who is quite manipulative and two or three absolute a*lickers who suck up to her in such a cringey way and act so enamoured with each other that it just discludes everyone else. If you dont join in fully then you are considered to not be contributing. It was not so bad initially as there were more people going but several have left the group because it just feel so toxic and unhealthy. So now it is not really diluted by lots of other people.
I wish so much that i would never have to see any of these people again as I feel so uncomfortable and anxious mixing with them. I know they have all bitched about me and the pathetic ones just agree with whatever the ringleader one says. Like Sheep! But the massive problem is that my son who is autistic likes to go and there are not many other options for people with additional needs. He does go to day services 5 days a week and also to respite once a month where he meets other young people but this is part of his routine and I feel terrible and guilty if I take it away from him.
There are also so many whatsapps every morning starting from around 7 am with inane comments like did you sleep well, did so and so do a poo, what are you doing today that feels so overwhelming to me. If i dont join in then basically i am made to feel really uncomfortable and totally out of the group so I have been trying to join in. Some people write a massive essay to each other every morning then just "morning" to others so it feels like deliberate meanness and subtly pointing out that some people are more important than others. It feels like school again. It has made me feel sick anxious and is totally horrible for my mental health. What do you think I should do? how shall I deal with this as it makes me feel so depressed?