I need to leave home.

[hnr2016]

I’m not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I am a single parent of 1 child who is living with parents.
My dad is a massive narcissist and is the most hateful person I know, he had verbally abused me for years since I was a kid and he groomed my mum and made her feel worthless all her life, so she’s stuck by him all these years, even when he broke my elbow when he threw something at me.

I’ve been stuck here since my daughter was born 9 years ago, I had hoped to only stay for a bit whilst I got back on my feet, but over the years I’ve ended up with several chronic health issue that’s meant I’ve not been able to find a job as well as my daughter additional needs (still on the wait list and not “officially” diagnosed yet) and I’ve had to pull her out of mainstream school as the schools where we are have been shocking for actually helping her.
I am looking for work from home, but I’ve been pushed back so many times or told no (I’m not very qualified as my teen years were a disaster and so didn’t get many qualifications).

I can no longer stay here anymore as my dad is becoming nastier and I just cannot take it anymore, I’ve noticed it’s now impacting my daughter and I don’t want her growing up in a home like I did as it’s impacted my mental health so much. He has also said he doesn’t want me living here anymore because I don’t cower down to him like my mother does.

I don’t have any money though, or a career so I can’t afford to rent private or even find somewhere that’s affordable. I’ve also looked on the home options page on my local council website, but I can’t work it out correctly and some questions it’s asking make no sense as I don’t pay the gas, electric, etc.

Do I just go to my local council and tell them that I’m going to be homeless because my dad is kicking me out?

I am so scared, I’m worried social services will take my daughter away if I cannot provide a home for her, I don’t know what to do. I have no friends or family that I can turn to, so I’m just feeling so lost and alone.

I just want to give my daughter a healthy home for her to thrive in life and I just feel like I’ve failed her terribly :(

I would suggest Women's Aid as a first step. You are suffering abuse, as is your child, and they will be able to help you.

I’m sorry you’re in this position but yes, go to the Council and explain the abusive situation as well as the fact he’s asked you to leave. As you and your daughter have extra physical needs and you’re in an unsafe environment, hopefully you’ll be found a home quite quickly!

I agree with PP about Women’s Aid, and also you can present to the council as homeless as long as your parents will agree they are kicking you out.

The only issue is you’ll have to take the first property they offer you, including temporary housing and I know where we are some of those flats are really not very nice and are in horrible places, you have to accept it or you’re classed as making yourself intentionally homeless and then the council won’t help you any further, but anywhere has to be better than where you are now OP.

You can also apply for UC if eligible which will help financially.

You need to get on the council housing list asap and explain the situation to them that you are in an abusive situation and need to leave. You may have to go into temporary accommodation for a while until you can be permanently housed. If housed in council housing then rent should be covered in full by Universal credit although temporary or emergency accomodation still falls under housing benefit I believe but council would guide you on that or speak to Citizens advice.

I think you need to actually present as homeless I.e. that you have been kicked out and have nowhere to stay and then they have to find you temporary accommodation that night until they find you more suitable accommodation.

So can be a hotel or temporary B&B.

Or as PPs say try Women's Aid first as they are more specialised in domestic abuse.

I would tell the council both. Tell them about the situation with your father. And that he's kicking you out . Can you get that in writing? But make it clear you cant stay there regardless even if he changes his mind as its not safe for you or your child.

The council have to put you into emgency accommodation. They can't refuse as it comes under domestic violence and they have a duty of care.

Do also contact womans aid. As they can give you support and advocate for you. To make sure the council are doing what they should be. They may also be able to find a refuge for you.

Ad this is a domestic violence situation they are not allowed to contact your father.

Also they will not take your child away.💐