Is anyone else like this? Needing Constant Support..

[Rosebush2023]

Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure how to name this thread...Basically, I am almost 50 and have recently realised that I have always relied heavily on mental support from my family (parent and siblings, we are very close). I've always had bad PMS so on that weekend I am irritable and depressed and go on about my problems (which are not real problems, just me being paranoid about work or whatever). Since perimenopause started it seems like I am unhinged for two weeks a month.

The other two weeks, I am my real self, and am nice to my family members, listen to them and we do interesting things. But I can no longer pretend that this is the real me.

When I am down, I cut friends out of my life and create a lot of drama. One of my siblings took it very badly recently when I went over childhood traumas, so while I was better the next day, I had passed the depression on to them!

I've decided to avoid them when I'm feeling down and can't believe how miserable I have been (actually crying because of noisy neighbours today, and generally a wreck, not even enjoying the sunshine). But now I've managed to overcome this mood on my own and feel a bit more hopeful.

Does anyone else suffer like this, and is it possible to work through it oneself, by avoiding people? I want to avoid therapy too as it makes me even more self-analytic, and I want to focus on others now, at least when I'm well.

I possibly have ADHD or AHD (there is a lot of in in my family) and am being assessed soon. But I'm really scared now of being like this for the rest of my life, because on the two bad weeks I wreck everything and feel terrible.

Are you able to take the pill or a short term anti depressants in this two weeks?

I get realy bad PMT for about a day and now I'm in peri I can feel low for about three days.

What helps is - carbs, chocolate, more carbs, knowing it will pass. Recently made the decision to prioritise looking after ME first during this time too.

I have ADHD.

Is it possible you could be autistic? I am and I relate to much of what you say.

I have a friend like this (who I love very much anyway!) and with her I think it’s a bit of an OCD thing and the talking to everyone about all her worries is reassurance seeking, and she would really struggle not to do it. Do you think it might be similar for you? Does it feel like you have to ‘solve’ each problem by talking it out each time? If so maybe CBT could help? If it’s more just splurging then can you just be aware of how much you do it with each person, chose topics wisely, and make sure to reciprocate?

@GreenFressia Hi there, thanks! I am on HRT so can't take anything else. Ha ha, the carbs and chocolate sound great! I had ice-cream today, which did help a bit.

@IShouldNotCoco Thanks so much for this opinion. I have been wondering this more and more. I might get assessed for autism as well as ADHD. It would explain such a lot in my life!

@Werp I'm glad to hear you still love your friend even though she might be a bit difficult! Yes, that's exactly it, I am trying to solve each problem by talking about it. In a way, I mean to just clear that problem and move on to other people's stuff but sometimes it escalates because my sibling overreacts or it takes far longer than I imagine and it drains them all, and then there's not much time to talk about them. I feel so guilty about it! I've only every had counselling, not CBT, so will look into it now...Thanks so much.