Feeling at a loss..

[MeganAyles]

Hey, 1st time poster, just wondering if anyone else going through the same. Im 28, I’m nearly 7 months pregnant and im seriously struggling. The baby’s father left me already a while ago & even though he is an asshle it was unexpected, a baby isn’t what he wanted & he’s gone. I have no friends, no family as both parents are deceased etc & no support network. I had 1 or 2 friends before pregnancy but they’ve disappeared completely like ghosts since I got pregnant. For months I spend every day alone from the minute I wake up, until I go to bed I get no human interaction unless I go to the shop or something silly. Hours & hours everyday just with no talking no anything. I’ve tried everything, joined peanut app, bumble for friends, looked for pregnancy groups, mum groups, everything. I’ve tried putting myself out there, nothing works. The mum & baby clubs won’t take me yet because baby isn’t born, pregnancy groups are too far away from me as I don’t drive, the apps are more chatting & no one replies, then the other apps is all girls without kids who won’t match with me I presume once they see I’m expecting so they don’t swipe me. I have never felt sad or lonelier in my whole life, I have no one to share pregnancy with, no one to be excited with me & just absolutely no one to talk to. I know it will probably be different when baby comes because I’ll have my little baba & I’ll be occupied of course, but having no friends & no interaction has taken its toll terribly. I thought this was something that happened in your 80s-90s! Not your 20’s 😞
I’m focusing on baby and baby stuff best I can to keep my mind occupied but it only helps so much. I’ll have no one in hospital with me holding my hand, or to see me & baby afterwards, it’s completely depressed me and I just want to cry everyday now. Has anyone else felt like this and got through it? Sorry for the big essay, just at my whits end. Thank you 🙏

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it really sounds so hard. I don't have any great advice but I didn't want to read and not respond. I know it's not immediate, but hopefully you can find some supportive friends in baby groups when your baby does arrive, it's great to share motherhood with other Mums.

Thank you so much for responding ❤️

I’m also so sorry to read this @MeganAyles it makes me want to give you a great big hug.
Have you spoken to your midwife about how you are feeling? She may know of local support, and I’m wondering if Homestart may be something to look into?

https://www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/Category/things-we-can-help-with

I also suggest you ask Mumsnet admin to move this post over to chat or perhaps the pregnancy board so more people will see it and perhaps offer up suggestions and moral support.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely, it sounds really tough. I hope you can meet some friends once your baby is born. Try and get out even if it's just for a walk around the park for some fresh air. I do hope things look up for you soon as it sounds really tough 😥

What month are you due? There are always lovely threads on here 'birth month clubs' so to speak. I'm in one for November and there now a WhatsApp. It's really active and it's baby talk all day long.

The best thing for making mum friends before pregnancy for me have been the NHS antenatal classes (again got added to a WhatsApp) and pregnancy yoga classes.

When baby is here definitely let your local family centre know you're isolated - there are lots of free/cheap groups run by them and shouldn't be too far from you.

Try different baby groups. Some you'll like and others you won't. It does take time to build connections though - I made two friends at Baby Rhyme Time at the library, which hopefully won't be too far for you. They were both separate friendships that just build up after seeing each other a few weeks in a row, saying hello etc. Then I just asked 'do you fancy going for a coffee after?'

Otherwise, I'd say enjoy the silence in your house and the free time while it lasts!

Hey @MeganAyles , I know your struggle and certainly understand the pain too because I went through it. Sorry this is your experience and I am sending you good vibes and positive energy ( which isn’t going to do crap). If you want to chat, I am here. We’re around the same age and although I lost my babe at 6 months i know a thing or two about a thing or two. 😅

Anyways, chin up chica it gets better and the loneliness will pass. All the best with your pregnancy and finding your circle 🫶🏽