Asking therapist for extra session

[OneMerryUmberAnt]

I have weekly appointments with my counsellor at the same day/time each week. My head is whirling after my last session and I am worried that I have upset her & she also seems to be questioning if I am comfortable with her in sessions and feel safe (which is really bothering me). Has anyone asked their therapist for an extra session in between their appointments, or am I just being too needy? She offers only weekly/fortnightly sessions.

She has mentioned the Samaritans before when I spoke about some thoughts that I had during sessions, so I feel that I shouldn't ask her for an extra session, but this is a bit different.

You could email to ask for an extra session but bear in mind she might say no. Do ring the Samaritans if you are feeling desperate. You’ll be able to talk it over next week and hopefully understand why this feels such a big deal.

I have had extra sessions occasionally, so no harm in asking, but also be prepared for her not to have any spaces. It’s unlikely you have upset her, and you should definitely tell her the next time you see her, how you feel.

It’s fine to ask. It’s her responsibility to say yes or no according to her own boundaries along with her understanding of your needs.

she also seems to be questioning if I am comfortable with her in sessions and feel safe (which is really bothering me)

this is a really hard part of therapy, I’ve found. When my therapist brings things like this up, I often feel rejected, like I’m being too needy, that I shouldn’t need therapy or human interaction or comfort etc. and in the early days of therapy (I’ve been going for nearly a decade now) I used to feel very shut down, and defensive. But the more we’ve talked through this loop (therapist gently questioning, me shutting down, gradually warming up again, and repeat), the more I’ve understood that my therapist is just trying to bring something to light for me and raise my awareness of when I’m needing something. And that it’s really okay to need. We’re human, pack animals, we need each other and thrive on safe interaction. Maybe there are some beliefs or shame kicking around for you that make it hard to feel okay with needing something?

Definitely talk to your therapist about all of this - at your pace - and it’s okay to ask for more time. They might not be able to offer it, but hopefully they’ll be nice about it either way. It’s a really valuable experience to brave asking for what you need and to be met with kindness. The more you do it, the easier it gets.