Anxiety over household wear and tear

[Suziesue88]

Is it normal to have little chips/dents/scuffs around the household. House was fully decorated nearly 5 years ago but I seem to be finding ‘damage’ lately and have started to become consumed by it. Examples include little scratches on kitchen cabinets and scuffs on end panels. Chips in floor tiles and bathroom sink and bath, today’s obsession has started from looking for scratch’s in a glass banister. Most are fairly small and you have to be at eye level to see them. But I am wondering does anyone else suffer from this? And does the seem fair wear and tear? I live with my husband and two young children.

Completely normal daily wear and tear. If things didn't get damaged or break on a regular basis IKEA would quickly go out of business (or John Lewis if that's more your budget!).

What's not helpful is to be obsessing about this, which from this and previous poster, seems to be a far bigger problem for you. It IS possible to stop this behaviour when you're ready to.

Of course it is. Nothing is going to stay pristine and everyone's house is like that.

@Eyesopenwideawake I want to stop this but I am finding it really hard.
I tell myself I think what I find is normal but telling myself and believing it isn’t the same thing.

It’s completely normal, I have two young children myself and we are renovating a house. Recently repainted the hall / stairs, it looked stunning… and one of my children promptly walked up the stairs with filthy hands smearing her hands up the wall… It also annoys me when I buy them a new toys or a new top etc… and it instantly gets damaged. I try and be philosophical and breathe and not sweat the small stuff… I do suffer from anxiety and OCD, and I’m wondering if you may have a little bit of OCD stressed out by these details? It really is easier if you just surrender. And remember that you won’t have two small children forever! Your house can be pristine in later years… It’s just part parcel having children and wish this time away… Or waste it worrying about scuffs

for me there is another layer of difficulty in that I grew up in poverty and have worked so hard to have what I have… But I still have a bit of a poverty mindset and I cannot stand waste, or things not being looked after because I know how hard it was to get them. Again, I just have to breathe and tell me myself it’s normal and not worth stressing about

@Pompompurin1 yes I defiantly think have developed ocd around this. I have always been annoyed at things getting damaged but the last few month it has flared up massively

Yes it’s definitely normal. To be honest most houses need an annual refurbishment in terms of painting walls and touching up glosswork especially if you have kids and pets. I usually allot a couple weeks in Feb/March time to refresh the house in high traffic areas

You may need professional help in that case. Have you spoken to your doctor about this?

Sorry to be bearer of bad news, but my adult DC still mess up freshly painted walls. They also get hair dye on the walls, spill tea on the stairs and “forget” to open the window after a shower, resulting in mould. I struggle but can let go of it more than I used to.

Just to clarify, they are great kids - this is all accidental but annoying.

Have you posted about this before? It rings a bell.
When I’m stressed and tired (which is often, as I have a nocturnal disabled child) I tend to focus on all the things ‘wrong’ with the house, but not to the extent that you’re describing.

Try to look at these minor blemishes as your homes laughter lines. Marks where your children played or fell over for example. One day your children will be grown up and have homes of their own and you can then have the perfect house. Hope your children's memories are not ruined by your obsession for tidiness and perfection.

Currently trying to get help for my anxiety

What do you think it’s going to happen if your house has scuff marks? What are the negative consequences of that that you’re fearing?

@MereNoelle i suppose for instance with the cupboards and sinks etc it’s that we are not looking after our home and it will not look nice to visitors. Or if I was to sell it. It would devalue the house maybe; which in reality are not big issues which I know but then my ocd forces me to think about them. I appreciate there are a lot worse things in the world to worry about but to me it’s causing me real bad anxiety which I just want to go away. I was wondering if anyone else suffered with anything similar and a bit of reassurance really that it’s normal wear and tear. I think we take to much notice of ‘perfect’ homes online now and ive let that make me think my home isn’t up to scratch.

It most definitely is normal wear and tear! If I look closely my house is absolutely covered in paint scuffs, hand prints etc. That’s just life