Deleted X - Is the world really as bad as X depicts. Or am I just a fearful and anxious new mum?

[browser2025]

Hi MN,

As my username suggests, I usually just browse here, taking an interest in the many topics shared and discussed. I find comfort in reading your interactions, and as a new mum, it has helped me untangle a lot of internal conflicts. So, thank you all.

I recently deleted my X app because I found myself obsessively scrolling, trying to keep up with what’s happening in the real world. Each time, I ended up feeling extremely miserable and worried about the future of my son. I believe this is what people call “doom scrolling.”

Hopefully, this is the right place to contribute or ask a question. My question to MN is this: Does the world suddenly seem like an incredibly awful place-like we’re on the brink of extinction or some kind of hellish transition-because I’m a new mum and that’s just how you feel when you’re new to motherhood? Or is there something more to it? Does anyone else doom scroll and feel this way after using X?

I’ve had to delete my X account too, it gives me an impending feeling of doom! My kids are teenagers so it’s not a new mum thing. It’s just an overload of negativity and I find it too much to bear. I try to think that whatever is in store for us all we can’t really do anything about. What we can do is try to take care of our nearest and dearest the best we can, take care of ourselves, try to enjoy the small things. I would stay off if I were you and just focus on being a lovely mum.

You could carefully arrange your feed so that you're only getting memes and it might be a bit better but tbh you're far better deleting it.

There are loads of shitty things we can't control. I actually can't watch the news at the moment because I despair - yes it's particularly bad what with all the conflict taking place, not to mention the growing threat of climate crisis, AI, cyber hacking, microplastics, rise of the right wing, decline of critical thinking, etc.

Having a baby also massively changes you and your priorities, your sense of protection and worry, and thinking long-term. It's hard not to scroll because there are many tedious hours of not having much for your mind to do. Could you listen to audiobooks/read instead? I find it more fulfilling to get into a properly realised fictional world than wring my hands over what the latest doom is and how badly it will affect us.

Try and focus on your immediate family and the things you can control! Congrats on your baby, btw!

X is an echo chamber of hate ….the more you engage by clicking on posts the more you’ll see of them. Threads etc is similar, but seems better for blocking topics/words etc. The same spouse to Mumsnet or any talk board really….you like:follow/engage with topic the more you see of it, therefore narrowing your view of the world.

Al-jezeera News offers a less biased world view than BBC/Fox etc. Chose your sources wisely and dont catastrophise/doom scroll - no good comes of it.

Thank you for your replies and advice. I think I’ll stay off it for now and focus on my own world. Listening to audiobooks instead is a great idea.

You’re absolutely right-it’s beyond our control, and all we can do is hope that the world becomes a better place after we get through this difficult phase.

I used to be carefree and fearless, but motherhood has definitely changed that. The irrational fears and intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming and crazy at times.

Google “The happy newspaper” it’s full of loads of positive stories, they have an actual newspaper which I’ve never had, but their website has uplifting videos about kindness & just really nice things. There is a lot of bad in the world, but a lot of good too

Hadn’t heard of this, thank you I’ll have a look 🙏🏻

I just follow good people so don't deliberately look for doom and gloom to make my self upset, I just use it for what I want to you use it for

I recently deleted my X app because I found myself obsessively scrolling, trying to keep up with what’s happening in the real world.

@browser2025 There is nothing 'real world' about anything posted on X. It's more like reading the graffiti on a toilet cubicle wall.

Deleting it is absolutely the right way to go. Facebook too, and probably TikToc although I've never used the latter.

I liked Twitter. X is a cess pit. A lot of the hate is from bots. Rory Stewart and Alastair Campbell did a piece about the bots in their podcast recently.

I would probably delete the lot of them including this

I’m starting to feel the same about the others too. I haven’t had Facebook for 15+ years. I haven’t had tiktoc because I’m scared of how much control it has over humans. I feel like its name is just reference to the ticking bomb and the hold it has over the western world. I’m on Instagram, but I hate what it’s done to humans. I could like someone in the real world but despise them based on how they portray themselves and their life on Instagram. Social media has destroyed real human connection. Nobody knows who they actually are any more as there is no value or reward placed on real human engagement and little incentive there for real world accomplishment.

Last night while awake for feeds, I realised I am addicted to my phone (picking it up & aimlessly scrolling etc,). Even with X deleted.

Yes op this is a well known thing that happens when you have a baby. Your emotions are all over the place place and you want to protect your baby’s. You start to see danger everywhere. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the feelings and then let them go. They do diminish as baby gets older. But I am forever changed by being a mother, every war monger er or natural disaster I see I just feel like crying when I imagine the mothers in those situations trying to protect their children. I actually feel the pain in a way that pre child birth would have been unimaginable.

i try to avoid the news full stop.

Keep your phone downstairs when you go to bed. It's so much better for your mental health. When mine were breastfeeding I used to have a tiny book torch that I could read a book without a light when feeding. Or lie down feeding on your side and half sleep

@Wish44this is absolutely it. You don’t just see the danger ahead, you play out the scenario of it happening. You feel the pain. You experience the grief. Without it actually happening. You don’t just read bad news, you live the scenario yourself. You feel the heartache. You live the trauma. Your world collapses in a flash. With every scroll, every news update, every potential hazard. Everything that isn’t really happening to you, happens mentally, and you can feel it all.

Great advice @Middleagedstrikerim pumping throughout the day and during the night, which can take 30 mins each time. So I could do with something to keep me occupied without it being on my phone.

I don't use X so can't comment. But I do recall become incredibly sensitive once I had a baby, couldn't watch sad TV without crying, hated anything with violence etc. Had to watch what I call junk TV....think Virgin River or things like that. Real life, the news and anything gritty was all just too upsetting the idea that I'd bought this innocent baby into this terrifying world.

Don't worry it passes as the baby becomes less defenceless e.g walking, talking and interacting with the world.

I like BBC sounds for news and podcasts about lots of subjects. It never makes me feel hopeless and anxious they way that X does. X is truly horrid.

Deleting social media except MN (and one platform I need for work but have breaks from and a curated list so not doom and gloom or serious) sorted my mental health out so much. I delete Mumsnet from time to time if I feel it’s making me stressed or annoyed in a way I wasn’t before I opened it.

I was definitely very prone to massive eco anxiety when my kids were babies/ toddlers but now tbh I just don’t engage. I’m pretty well read / versed on the topic. I don’t need new information. I live an eco conscious lifestyle - many things are washable / reusable. Milk man, veg box, use shampoo bars 50% of the time. Avoid palm oil in most foods but don’t disallow the odd packet of biscuits. We’re lucky we don’t need a car so cycle use bio D products and keep the same cloths in rotation, buy second hand.

yes there’s a lot of race hate, intolerance, war and VAWG but there always has been and reading about it daily doesn’t help the issue or my family. I have to be in a good state to raise my kids.

I always look to the happy large car driving mums at school or are eco conscious in some ways but also happily driving about to activities and having a third and fourth children and think they look the type to be okay - tap into that mindset.

When you leave the echo chambers and just chat to people day to day and walk in nature the world is still a pretty marvellous place.

Ive been on a few political marches, I vote and engage in feminist issues. I still read the news but not daily and very much on an opt in when I have the headspace basis. It’s not like I have my head in the sand but I have put in huge boundaries about how much information I will take in and when.

pre smartphones and social media I used to worry about how many images we were bombarded with with magazines and advertising - well that has escalated beyond anything we could have foreseen imo.

Every generation has had threats and worries. We are not new. Of course there a huge issues raging across the world but debilitating yourself with anxiety about it helps no one, I speak from experience. I hope you feel better soon.

@browser2025 "there is no value or reward placed on real human engagement"

that's quite a statement!

do you mean in terms of a dopamine hit?

I think lots of people don't realise the extent to which their whole view of life and their mental attitude can be shaped by the content they consume. Especially if they are already vulnerable in terms of their mental health, or are at a vulnerable or impressionable stage in life (e.g. teenager or new mum). Essentially, you choose what is influencing you when you choose the content you expose yourself to.

X is a cess pit. Definitely avoid. With other social media platforms I think it depends on what you use them for. I use FB to interact with my (totally non-show-offy, non-toxic) friends and mostly use Instagram to follow knitting and crochet accounts, so I feel no need to ditch those!

I've had twitter/X for years and never bothered now I look at it more regularly to just try and understand it - its a cess pit for extreme views including outright racism and misogyny - it's gross but these people have always existed their just more bold with their views because sm has normalised it

all social media platforms need to keep your attention - those clicks lead to adverts lead to money

to do that they need to adjust what you see ( algorithms) and the end result is that they show you far more bad and extreme stuff than would be there if it was neutral.

That happens because of how our brains work - we are more aware of danger and threats in case we need to run from that tiger to save our lives - seeing the tiger is more important than seeing the flowers. So show a tiger an it grabs our attention - time in page and clicks driven -

so yes delete it because it’s selling a myth - that the world is worse than it is

I think what I mean @EmeraldRouletteis that many now opt for the easier, more instantly gratifying route of online engagement, even though it (I think /based on observation) leaves us feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever.

Ita like we’re living in a world where the fake has overtaken the real, where digital validation is pushed above genuine connection, and where the pursuit of likes has replaced the pursuit of meaning. These apps have made it too easy to lose our sense of self and forget the value of real human interaction in the real world-where true connection and accomplishment still matter.

@WonderingWanda yes, the sensitivity is extreme. Overwhelmingly so.

@ThisAlertRaven@TumbledTussocks and yes same re the anxiety surrounding products and ingredients, fuelled in part by the way platforms like X amplify certain topics. And like when topics are presented without any real context. For example, a dated video of a protest might be circulated, clearly depicting a specific demographic. Rather than clarifying that it’s footage from a protest, the narrative is twisted to suggest that this scene represents everyday reality and that this demographic has somehow “taken over.” It just fuels anxiety and distorts our perception of the world.

100% @AllProperTeaIsTheft@Figgygal exactly re extreme views. And you’re absolutely right @andtheworldrollsonthis is how they make their money isn’t it. Through our engagement. And the fear and extreme content keeps us engaging.

Don't worry it passes as the baby becomes less defenceless e.g walking, talking and interacting with the world.

Until phase II when they want their own smartphone / internet access and you have to navigate how they will deal with all this shit. I've been showing mine small examples of blatant rubbish every so often (AI search results that they know are wrong, people lying to get people to follow them - we have a conspiracy theorist in the extended family so it's a good discussion point with them).

But it's going to be a job to prepare them properly especially when the online landscape changes so radically so fast.

It'll all be sorted out by the time OP's baby is a teen.... fingers crossed!