I've had a LOT of ECT. Probably more than 30 sessions over about 3 years.
And now I've got memory problems that are still an issue 2 years later. Everything needs to be written down. I forgot how to access Teams on my desktop the other week. I struggle with cooking. I can remember complex work related technical terms, analyse and report on then at work but I don't remember watching films and my husband found me reading and had to tell me I had read it before. No memory of that.
I'm getting better at hiding it but people who know me well aren't stupid. Everything online like Mind and Rethink and NHS just say it is temporary and short lived and I can't find anything to suggest otherwise. I even contacted Headway feeling like a total fraud but they were lovely and helpful, recommended I ask for a referral to a neuropsychiatrist but if I do that it is going to raise red flags in a number of areas that I don't want to go into.
I just feel so alone and upset. Like it's my fault, I should not have agreed to it ( I didn't every time, I was forced after for a few sessions as I was under 6 stone and having cardiac arrhythmias). I just feel abandoned.