Good morning All,
I am a mother of 2 children ( one PreSchooler and one primary school aged) and have been married for 11 years.
The sad reality is that for many years, I have been battling loneliness; within my own marriage and home. I feel sooooo embarrassed for confessing this publicly for the first time. I have been battling depression for 29 years so at first, I thought my loneliness was due to this & was 'normal'. This is because my personality at work and out & about is so different to the harsh reality I have been facing these last few years. It is getting worse.
My husband and I come were raised in 2 different continents; I was born here in the UK, yet our parents are from the same country! However since he joined me here in the UK 9 years ago, I noticed his increasing reluctance or dislike to adopt some ( at least) British culture and traditions. So why he bothered coming here is beyond me!!! When in Rome..... His level of English is average at best and he refuses ( never) to read a book or watch English programmes. His accademic level is well below mine. He refuses to have a heart to heart like normal couples do. Instead, he always avoid eye contact and is glued to his 2 mobile phones!! That really hurts!!! I am the one who manages all my children's educational and extra curricular activities. I am the only parent who drives.
I have no friends outside work and home. But I would be most grateful for some advice on what to do. I want to join a church so I can make friends.
Every night when I cry myself to sleep, I think of how to escape this prison called loneliness. Abandoning my children is out of the question. But I now realise that I married the wrong person; now he is totally different in character to when we were courting. Once my children are both in secondary school, I will then be able to seperate from him. He will not change but I will not continue to be lonely in my marriage. I want happiness.