Don't know how to be me or who I am

[thetorturedpoetsdepartmentssecretary]

Anyone else feel like that? I don't know who I am. I feel I'm always trying to be what others want and no longer know who I am or what I do.

I'm constantly watching myself as if from outside me if that makes sense .. wondering how I appear to others, whether I'm doing it right, what others think etc.

How do I find myself? Become myself?

Start with your core beliefs - these are the 'truths' you built up about who you think you are during your formative first 10 years of life. This is a good resource;

https://positivepsychology.com/core-beliefs-worksheets/

Thank you I'll look at that.

I think I have core beliefs. I just realised I'm always wondering what people see and adjusting myself accordingly.

Sounds as if you are looking to find yourself through other people. I do this too and it’s normal to an extent because that’s how societies get along however, the healthier way is for us to know who are and our values and interact with others from this inner known Self. You could try journaling about what’s important to you so you begin to know yourself better. Another way is to make a list of things you like and dislike. What interests you? What would you like to do more of or try? What did you like doing as a child?

You were raised by narcissists, weren't you?

Thanks for the replies. I don't know if my parents were narcissists. My mum likes to talk about herself a lot. Anything I tried to do to become independent was regarded as selfish, so it's possible.

I've always read a lot and recently have been trying to again. I'm trying to wean myself off my phone, as it's so tempting to just scroll for hours.

I'll try the journalling, but am generally low in motivation, when I've tried in the past I end up giving up after a few days as I've nothing to write.

I'd like a hobby, but it's very difficult as my cats get involved in everything! I'm not artistic or imaginative.