Managing anxiety

[MonkiMoo]

Hello
My first time posting a thread here so bear with...!
I've always struggled with low self-esteem and anxiety.
My anxiety recently seems to be spiralling and I catastrophise A LOT about all manner of things, always thinking of worst case scenarios and worst outcome. I recognise I could potentially have generalised anxiety and more recently anticipatory anxiety.
I've had medication for anxiety previously during Covid when a relationship broke up and I couldn't see my family/friends but didn't really help me and my GP was like "you just need some fresh air and to see your family again"
I'm reluctant to visit the GP again, and we can't self refer for mental health support in Northern Ireland so I'm thinking of maybe helping myself with books and podcasts hence this post - has anyone any experience or recommendations they could share.
It's affecting me quite badly now, I've not left the house in 3 days, am anxious to drive, am eating poorly when I do eat. Not taking alcohol though so that's good. I've a friend's birthday dinner on Thursday and really don't want to go out. Hate to admit but I was so low yesterday, crying and talking bad to myself that I self- harmed. I was so disgusted with myself and my thoughts - I just hit myself on the head with my hands, didn't cut or use blades or anything but I'm full of self loathing and really don't know what to do right now - I can't reach out to family or friends as don't want to be a burden but I do recognise I need support.
Thanks for reading.

Do you live alone?

Yes, I do live alone

What are your hobbies? I found reading and art really help. Also just getting outside for a walk, even in cold weather is a real help. 5 minutes at first then longer. But yes I get it can be hard to find the motivation. Wishing you all the best and here if you need a chat x

There's some information here on available services
https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/mental-health-support

Magnesium supplements, a bath with magnesium flakes, exercise such as a walk, yoga, getting out into nature, journalling, a good multivitamin, distraction, good diet, stay hydrated, porridge, bananas, a support group, family and friends, meditation, mindfulness. Might be useful.

Never pander to it. Its like a controlling boyfriend, it'll never be satisfied. You're too anxious to leave the house today and it'll convince you not to leave the house all week. You stay in and you'll get even worse and not go out for a month. You'll spiral.

Whatever you're too anxious to do, force yourself to do it. You can't let it have power over you, otherwise it will just keep getting worse.

Your GP is right, the best thing you can do is make yourself go out and see people. Even if you don't interact much.

I force myself to go for a walk and ask someone if I can pet their dog. Animals are a very effective weapon against anxiety. Especially dogs and horses. They're probably the most therapeutic thing I can do.

A random dog grinning up at you, delighted for a bit of unexpected attention can make pretty much anyone smile.

Horses have a very calming, soothing effect on many people. They're large powerful creatures who, for the most part, enjoy a slower pace of life, standing in the sun, eating grass. They're quite emotionally intelligent and my favourite will usually come and cuddle me, if I'm upset.

Do you have any pets? If so, go and interact with them a little. If not, go and see if you can pet a dog or a cat but get some fresh air, it really does help. Even if it's a trip to the drive through with the window down.

This is very good advice!

If you’re at the stage where the anxiety is stopping you going out you need to see the doctor and you need to think about effective medication. That will help get you balanced and in a place where you can start to beat the anxiety.

111 have a specific mental health arm and if you are self harming a call to them could help you access the help you need.

Hello, OP!

I'm sorry to hear that you have also always struggled with low self-esteem and anxiety.

Is there something in particular which is encouraging your anxiety to spiral at the moment, or is it just inconsiderately lurking?

Despite their training, a lot of GPs- and others- do not understand anxiety unless they also suffer from it. Fresh air and seeing your family won't necessarily fix it! I don't have any recommendations of books or podcasts, but I have experience of anxiety.

When mine is bad, and I'm off work, I also have a few days off from the world. Sometimes I make myself go out for a little drive in the evenings, when it's quiet, just to the nearest supermarkets. It's not much, but I can get myself a treat or something more mundane but nevertheless useful (like work lunches!). I also eat badly at times, or stop eating. Are you interested in cooking at all? Could you make something? I know that it's a tall order when you're anxious and you live alone, so it seems pointless making a huge helping... but I make huge portions of stew or soup (stuffed with all kinds of vegetables, so at least it counteracts the junk food!), which improves my diet and gives me less to worry about. Huge portions mean that I can just warm it up, too, so I don't have to worry about the stress of cooking properly for a few days afterwards. It also usually tastes better than shop-bought counterparts!

What's your sleep like at the moment? I take melatonin (which I bought online) occasionally, as bad anxiety is terrible for my (already patchy) sleep.

Anxiety is awful and it will control and ruin your life if you let it. It is hard to deal with. Medication might help when it kicks in, but you might need to try a few different ones before you find something that works for you. Do you have a hobby that calms you, whether at home or in the community? Is there a skill that you've always wanted to learn, which might increase your confidence a little?

For me, one of the best things I did (amongst deciding to go against what my family had dictated my life to be, but that's another story) was to get a dog. She gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to go out, to go to new places, and just some joy in life, as well as unconditional love. I will say, however, that she was the easiest of all of the puppies that I've ever had, so I was very lucky with her! Perhaps it's not for you, but animals are generally much more soothing and less stressful than facing other people when you're down. If you can spend time with animals, I highly recommend it.

It's the little things that will help you to ride the waves of anxiety, OP. Good luck, and wishing you a brighter day tomorrow!