POST NATAL DEPRESSION (late onset)

[LilacHazeSun]

Hi,

im not sure what I’ll achieve with this post but just looking for some comfort I suppose.

i feel so alone. I have a toddler who is 17 months, the dark cloud and tiredness set in just before she turned 1, and 6 weeks ago it all erupted into panic attacks, I lost the ability to eat and sleep, and I have been spiraling since. I have a doctors appointment booked for this week, but I can’t see an end to this. My daughter is unaffected as I do everything in my power to make sure her day goes to plan, even if I shake in the process, I don’t brush my teeth/hair etc and my partner works a lot (some times 6/7 days per week). I feel so sick al the time and I’m forcing food down just to survive. She wakes around 5.30am and lately she’s been waking twice in the night.

i desperately crave a break but at the same time I panic when I’m not with her. This is truly torture. Looking for some positive stories for those who recovered pnd. Pls only let me know those who recovered as I need to see some light.

thanks for listening xx

Sounds to me like you need to get back to work if not already?

Do you have a partner? Are they aware of the situation? Does your daughter attend nursery?

I am back to work 2 days per week, but I work in an office alone so not much company (currently looking for another job)

Yes he is aware but not much he can do other than help me when he’s home from work, she doesn’t go nursery she’s with her nan for the 2 days I work

That needs to be a priority as that sounds awful! Does your daughter go to nursery then? Maybe add in an extra day at nursery for a day you’re not working

Nursery
seriously
She will enjoy and that day to yourself will be a reset

did you have any mental health issues before having a child?

I was toying with the idea but I am really attached to her (probably too much) the thought of anyone else looking after her breaks me, I know I am my own worst enemy and it’s my fault I’m in this situation, once I’m out of the fog it will be my next goal.

Yes but look where there has got you? Very unhappy and ill. and that can’t be too nice for her either op.

so one day nursery. Fun for her. A break for you

@LilacHazeSunyou're doing an amazing job. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. I suffered with PND for about 6/7 months. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy but I will tell you that it’s easier when you can recognise what you’re going through yourself because it means you’re more willing to get help. I would self refer for some therapy.

I know it feels never ending but it will get better, if you have anxiety leaving the baby with someone else then don’t do anything that’s going to make it worse but sometimes it helps to just be around someone else and be able to talk so don’t shut yourself away from friends/family.

get as much fresh air as possible, go to parks etc when you have your baby etc because it will help keep your mindset focussed. Take everything 1 day at a time.. medication isn’t a cure, it’s a short term fix to a long term problem. You need to learn to manage your anxiety and not let it control you. Medication also isn’t a quick fix.. it’s takes a couple of weeks to become effective. Listen to some YouTube videos on Coping with anxiety and low moods etc. I know there are a few NHS ones that really help people.

oh and… force yourself to brush your hair and your teeth regardless of how much you can’t be bothered or don’t see the point because for 95% of women.. what they feel that they look like on the outside is a reflection of what they feel on the inside. It’s a kind of.. fake it until you make it situation 😂

I wish you all the luck in the world but know that you’re amazing and you’re going to get through this 😊

Thank you xx I will take this on board re therapy too. I will probably have to go private as nhs wait times are so long x