in desperate need of mum advice

[ForTealViewer]

Hi,

I posted on here a little while ago about my situation regarding uni. I dropped out in my second year after struggling with my mental health, and just feeling it wasn’t the path for me. I’m 21, was a very bright a level student (2x A stars and an A) but it all feels like it’s gone to absolutely nothing.

I sought advice from the thread, applied to some apprenticeships but with no success. I applied to full time jobs, no success. I have 2 part time jobs at the moment to get out of the house and attempt to distract myself. I have my first appointment with talking therapies tomorrow.

My home life is not the best and am receiving no support from my mother and sister. My dad is a bit better, but he is just very disappointed in me. My only real family member I can rely on is my gran, who my mother often stops me from seeing due to our close bond.

I am at such a loss, I don’t want to go back to university, I applied for apprenticeships but no luck. I have lost all my friends from uni, my friends from home and a boyfriend due to being really depressed. I have gone months since leaving uni, with my only real interactions being new colleagues at work and my family, however my mum and sister due to their disappointment in me, barely suffice a conversation.

I am at such a loss of what to do with my life, and I am in such a low spot that I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been contemplating the worst.
I had such high hopes for myself at 16, and I feel like such a failure, with no passions, no goals, just nothing, everything feels bleak.

I would wait to try and get experience in different avenues than jump into a apprenticeship/ uni etc

do research, contact people on LinkedIn in different professions that interest you. Ask questions.
im 29 but when i was your age, I did this slot. LinkedIn has built my career into millions through networking.

but start with knowing what you want to do first then master it

A lot *

Get your mental health back. Maybe a course of anti depressants (that’s what they are there for) and an exercise regime. One step at a time. It’s great you have the jobs and are getting on well with colleagues, all this is experience.
your early twenties are a time where there often feels a disconnect between hopes/expctations and realities, regardless (or perhaps even more so) whether you have a degree.
as pp said take your time to research areas you might like to go into. The virtual work experience platform spring pod has lots of stuff. Look into doing a short course to develop some more skills and think about if there’s a way your pt work could you help you develop transferable skills once you identify something you might like to focus on. Set yourself some achievable short term goals.

My home life is not the best and am receiving no support from my mother and sister. My dad is a bit better, but he is just very disappointed in me.
What support are you looking for from them and what's going on in their lives?
The horrible thing about depression is that it makes everything go under a magnifying glass and so introspective. So if they're working full time and racing about in the morning to get to work, don't respond to texts/calls when at work, then want to be left alone to decompress for a while after work before bed and it all starts again next day, your depression makes that seem all about you and how they won't support you, and have it against you, when really it's just the trials and tribulations of modern life.
Have you thought about volunteering?

Good advice on here already. Huge sympathies, I think my early 20s were the hardest time of my life!

To echo what’s been said above, you need a few goals and then work towards them. Start small, don’t start with “get dream job” break it down into smaller steps like “learn about what qualifications and experience I need for dream job” “approach people doing dream job and ask if I can’t have talk to them about their work”. Etc

you need to decide what’s the priority now, is it getting out of your house? Sorting out your mental health? Getting into an apprenticeship? Choose a priority and focus on that.

be patient and give yourself compassion, you WILL get there. You sound like you have made some really good progress and are motivated.

do you know what careers you are interested in? If you could be specific I bet there are hundreds of people on mumsnet in that industry that could help.

You have got some great advice here.

The concerning part of your post for me: 'My only real family member I can rely on is my gran, who my mother often stops me from seeing due to our close bond.' your an adult, how does she stop you? Plus your title Is about mum advice and you hardly mention your mum. It sounds like you don't have a good relationship with your mum.

Possibly you see two options, university or stay at home (reading between the lines with your family who want you to go back to university), I don't know your family dynamics, but could you stay with your gran for a bit?