Tonight I had a breakdown

[PinataHeeHaw]

I've got a lot of work stress at the moment. So much work, workload is overflowing and it never seems to stop. It gets worse and worse. I have been stressed all easter weekend when I should have been switching off from work.

Tonight I was out for dinner. I just started thinking about the work situation and started crying. I couldn't stop throughout the whole meal. I need to help myself but don't know how.

Get as much sleep as you can tonight and tomorrow decide whether you want to call in sick, resign or tell your boss/manager/whatever that you can not cope with the work level.

Whatever you do, don't carry on the way you are. It's simply not worth it.

Into bed - if you have a sleeping tablet; take that and get a proper nights sleep and call in tomorrow with a migraine; you need rest; i say that as someone who missed all these signs and ended up in a worse place burnout/mental health

Thank you @BallerinaFall and @Eyesopenwideawake . I managed to get a bit of sleep. I'm going to scale back my schedule today and have an honest conversation with my manager. The thing is, if I don't do the work, no one else will but something has to give before I do.

I was you last Christmas. I did go off sick. Guess what? The work didn’t get done (most of it) but they coped.

Take some time off and use it to look for another job.

Look for another job, it can't be worth it.

If you let yourself burn out completely, recovery can take a very long time (there’s a great book, The Burnout Doctor, on this for more info). Please focus on yourself for a few days not the work. Someone else will have to do that anyway if you don’t look after yourself now. Wishing you a better day today.

I was also you last year. I also went off sick at this point. It took me months to recover. Meanwhile the work got entirely reprioritised and turned out to matter a lot less.

You need to make the workload your manager’s problem and concentrate on rest and recovery. Your employer has a legal duty to protect you from stress, and they’re not doing it.

Take time off, sick leave but not just a day so I that you are in a better mind to have meeting with your manager. It gives you time to rest then when recovered to think about what is doable for you not what you think you should be able to do or what some imaginary ideal colleague could do- what you can do.

To decide whether to resign or job search you need to be well.

I feel for you OP, too many jobs with unreasonable work loads and then they wonder why people retire as soon as they can or are off sick etc or there is a churn of workers. I hope you find away forward and you gave a good manager who will help you with this.

Thank you everyone. I had a week sick leave last year because of stress, depression and anxiety and I feel like a failure if I take sick leave again.

Flip it around - your employer failed to address the issues that caused you to be ill last year and as a result you are ill again.

Look for a new job. They will live.

That's very true.

I really feel for you OP, I was in nursing for 25 years and by the end the stress was so acute I had 6 months off. I didn't feel I could go back without going mad so I did 6 years in medical insurance and then retrained in another less stressful section of the NHS. I had to go or I would have ended up in a psychiatric unit. I was a single mum too so had no support.
You need to actively start looking for a new job but in the meantime take some time off. Just thinking about leaving for something else will give you a rush of relief.

I do hope you can scale back OP and feel positive today, I’m a crash and burn type and I did lots of work, reading and spent time trying to understand why I felt the need to work so hard, to be so perfect and couldn’t step back.

it uncovered some really key areas of my life growing up some perfectionism and traits that made me understand “why” when people around me were able to just switch off.

It maybe worth understanding why you feel guilty for being off sick for valid reasons etc.

@PinataHeeHaw give yourself permission to step back and not care so much. you are so emotionally invested in your work that you aren't seeing the bigger picture. They would replace you in a heartbeat so do not burn yourself out for them.

Speak to your Manager and then follow that up via email (BCC in your home email addy so you have a copy). Tell them you are at burnout and you need help. Give them one week to come back to you with either a new plan or less work and then email again.

If nothing changes within the month, you go on sick leave and give the reason as work related stress. Don't hide it as depression or anxiety - cite work related stress because that is the truth.

A decent boss would hear you and make plans to hire another person to share the work load. They'd take on some themselves until you were back to your capacity. You don't have a decent boss so you must advocate for yourself.

Also - look for a new job.

@PinataHeeHaw i know it’s hard taking sick leave. Also that feeling of letting people down. As PP say you are the important person here. Others including work shouldn’t come into it.

However if it gives your emotional part “permission” remember that to do your best for your clients and colleagues being well. Burning out will not be good for them as well as you.

Someone said yesterday that if you're not loving yourself and don't feel your best mentally and physically, how are you supposed to give your best to other people you might work with who need help with their mental health and I really felt that.

I've taken today off. I scared myself last night. I was sat in a hotel restaurant and the tears came and they wouldn't stop. When I was in private I cried and cried. It's been the same over easter, except I've been in my own privacy and not crying over dinner!

Something has to give now. I'm going to have a good look at my work schedule and give myself permission to cancel things and know that it's ok to that (even though really it's not).

This is such good advice. Thank you.

My manager listens. Actually doing some of my workload. I really don't think that would happen. They (work/management) pile more and more on.

Even if the burnout is part of my responsibilities. What then? If I am not coping with them then I'm failing aren't I?

How’s today been OP?

It was hard yesterday. I ended up calling in sick. I'm going to have a conversation with my line manager today about my workload. Hoping it will go well, but there's a real culture where workload is concerned of just shutting up and getting on with it. I tried that and this is where it's got me.

Thank you for checking on me xx