Extreme anxiety about houses

[Kittykattie]

I'm 52 and I feel like I've been miserable a lot of my adult life. I find I focus on issues with the house I'm living in and worrying myself sick about it. Numerous professionals can tell me there's either nothing wrong or it's not as bad as I think it is but I don't believe them.

I end up having to sell the house and then buy another. That's often not straightforward as during the buying process I start worrying about an issue in the house I've found to buy and end up having to withdraw my offer. When I finally manage to get to the end of the purchase process and buy the house, I start worrying shortly after moving in.

I've tried all sorts of counselling and SSRI but nothing really works for the depression/anxiety. Can anyone suggest anything that will help? It's so debilitating thinking about house problems 24/7. When I'm really anxious, I don't sleep either. I don't know if the anxiety is really about houses or if it could be about money as I do worry about losing money - we didn't have a lot when growing up.

My issues are now affecting my children's futures. I inherited some money and with his savings we have enough money to buy my son a house. However, every time we see a suitable property I always find something wrong with it so we can't buy. Now my husband and son are very annoyed with me. We've seen a house and they want to buy it. It needs loads of work - rewire, central htg, damp,kitchen, bathroom etc. I'm feeling sick with worry 24/7 and want to pull out as it feels too much.

Does anyone have any suggestions to free my mind of this torment. I feel like I only get relief when I either move house or withdraw my offer on a house. It is very short lived until it starts again. Hy

Thanks

These are exactly my thoughts.

My dad is a worrier. Growing up from age 5 we moved to a falling down house that dated back to 1500. My dad spent all holidays and eve/weekends working on it for years. I left at 18 and didn't return. I don't recall it bothering me but maybe it did as I've worried about every house I've lived in since then.

I wonder what sort of therapy/counselling would be best for dealing with this?

I'm by no means an expert, but I would assume the best kind of therapy for dealing with childhood wounds/trauma would be the psychodynamic/psychoanalytical kind of framework.

Or the sort that deals with this type of outdated/unhelpful thought patterns on a regular basis.

I’d recommend emdr therapy

Bingo...... I think there lies your trauma! Now you need to unpick it. You say you dont remember it affecting you, that young child has probably buried alot of memories. Hearing dad worrying, mum and dad arguing over things.....could be literally anything.

Urgh youve commented on a zombie thread.