DH just started escitalopram 10mg. HELP

[WorriedWife2025]

My DH has struggled over the last few months with anxiety - completely blindsided us both I think. He lost his Dad two years ago so maybe it’s a delayed reaction to that?!
He feels he has lost confidence in everything in does, worries about things that wouldn’t have bothered him previously. It’s so hard to see because he was always so quietly confident and self assured. Really competent in work etc.

Anyway, after another seemingly small thing set him back this week, we decided it might be time to see the GP. After a consultation the GP has put him on escitalopram 10mg.
I’m clueless aside from Google. Today (he took first tablet last night) he’s really tired (went back to bed during the day which is very unlike him), stomach dodgy, head feels muffled and anxiety is bad. Obviously I wouldn’t expect any improvement yet but please help me know what to expect or when he might feel better?
I don’t know what to do.
thanks.

Side effects are very common during the first 2-4wks of starting any ssri medication. If he can persevere with the side effects for the first few weeks it will be after this you'll see the improvement. Unfortunately one of the side effects can be increased anxiety while the medication is kicking in, if it becomes unbearable for him he can ask the GP for temporary medication to help with the side effects such as propanolol or diazepam.

@Realisation14 Thanks for replying. I had read it can take a few weeks but hoped it could be sooner. It’s just so hard to watch especially when the anxiety seemed worse today.
Is it unusual for it to come from no-where! Will he always struggle with it I wonder?

I find that once anxiety starts you're never fully rid of it, it's something you manage and have ups and downs with. I'd definitely be looking into some therapy to go alongside the medication. What sort of stuff is he worried about just general things or a specific area?

Might be worth taking in the morning - check the labelling

while o had virtually no side effects my friends anxiety went through the roof (didn’t know it could!) for about a week and then gradually came back down. Persevere - it is completely worth it x

The first couple of weeks on antidepressants are rough, I felt hungover most of the time. I think around 6-7 weeks I was starting to feel better, but they'd upped my dose to 20mg (citalopram) at that point. It's been absolutely fine since then. The increase in dose didn't have any unpleasant side effects.

I was advised to take in the evening before bed but the anxiety was awful and I couldn't sleep, so changed to mornings and that's better for me.

I've been on them a year now and I'm so glad I stuck with it.

Thanks for replying. It’s quite a lonely place when you’re supporting someone with MH concerns. I’m wanting to respect his privacy because he wouldn’t like people to treat him differently, so I can’t talk to the people I normally would about worries.

@Realisation14 The way he describes it is as if he has lost faith in himself to do the things he always did - fixing things or tackling jobs around the home. He’s a very hands on man, practical and can turn his hand to most things. Now, he said he can’t face it in case he’s not able to complete it. There was a slight concern with family member healthwise and he absolutely catastrophised it which isn’t like him. He’d be very level headed.

@LottieMary I had read that about taking it in the morning but his GP said it can help you sleep which is why he started then. Can he change the time from night to morning or does he need to gradually change it?

Feel like I’m rambling, sorry, this is a good outlet to have. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read or reply.

Oh @VenusStarr thats reassuring to hear. It’s awful that it takes so long to kick in or that it can worsen at the very time you’re hoping to see improvement. It’s not easy to see him struggle like this. We talk a lot but I don’t know if I’m annoying him by trying to talk. Did you want people to keep checking in with you or to just be left on your own?

Just saw your other message about times @WorriedWife2025 I gradually brought it up, si there was still time between the disease. I usually take it between 9-12 now and its fine. I did notice if I forgot and toom it later in the day it affected my sleep, but on the off occasion I forgotten now, it doesn't have an impact. I do have a reminder on my phone now and have a few spare in my bag in case I'm out and about.

It's all a bit foggy but I think knowing my partner was there, so stones I just wanted a cuddle and not to talk. I did find it hard to describe how I was feeling as it was mostly numb or very low and I was in my own head a lot. I found gentle encouragement to get up / dressed / out of the house with my husband helped me rather than talking about what was going on, if that makes sense?

I had weekly check ins with a mental health nurse is that an option for dh?

I hope you've got support too ❤️ keep chatting here xx

Definitely try taking it in the morning instead.

My husband certainly felt he didn't know how to support me when I was struggling but to me, I found it incredibly supportive that he made it clear he wasn't going anywhere, he didn't love me any less and he'd see me through it no matter what. He was clear that he couldn't understand it but I didn't need him to, just knowing he was steadfast was the best thing he could have done.

Thank you all so much.

@VenusStarr I think I’ll definitely encourage the earlier time. I said it to him after I read your message and he thinks maybe it might be better. I don’t think it’s made a difference sleep wise so worth a try in the mornings instead.
He’s bad this morning (just up). I mentioned the hungover feeling you talked about and he said it was exactly that. He feels weak, sweaty and definitely more anxious. He doesn’t know if it’s the tablet or if it’s just him. 😢

@SharpLily Thats great advice. I definitely tell him I love him and that nothing has changed in how I look at him. He’s better in the evenings and we can talk a bit more. In the mornings he’s very much in his head. He has said, even pre-meds, that the mornings are bad for him. I read there’s a depression called diurnal depression or morning depression but his GP said it’s anxiety more than depression. Did any of you have a bad time??

I got post partum anxiety after my first DC. Flared very badly at night. I still get it 10 years later if I’m on my own with them or they’re unwell. So I do understand how debilitating it feels.

Thanks for all your support. You’re all amazing for going through it.

Hi op, I just wanted to say that posts come across like you being a great support to your dh, offering him great insight, understanding, loyalty and support. 💐

The only thing I would suggest is that, although I understand his wish for privacy, don’t get in to a situation where you don’t have any support at all. Make sure you can talk to a friend in confidence.

Not going to lie, the first few weeks on an SSRI can be hellish. I had anxiety, fatigue, and an IBS flare that lasted over a month. So I’d say buckle in and be prepared for a bit of a rough ride, but it shouldn’t last too long. If things become truly unbearable, as PPs have said, go back to the doctor and see what they can do to mitigate the side-effects.

All of that said, these medications were a godsend for me. I don’t think I would have been able to achieve half of the things I’ve done in life if I hadn’t been given these meds. There can be longer-term side effects, I overheat really easily for instance, but they’re manageable and overall I’d rather that than struggle without them. Everyone reacts to each medication differently, so it can be a bit of trial and error to find the medication that works the best with the least side-effects! If for whatever reason escitalopram doesn’t suit your DH after a couple of months, it should be relatively easy to ask to be switched to a different SSRI. I hope your DH finds the same positives as I do once the initial adjustment settles down!

Escitalopram is great, I've been taking it for a few years for complex PTSD and really couldn't manage without it.
Early side effects should wear off pretty quickly and should settle down. The only problem is coming off it, you have to decrease slowly or you get brain jolts. I don't really know how to describe it, its a physical symptom a bit like getting an electric shock to the head.
But overall I find its an excellent drug.

Thanks for that encouragement @Andthispointstowhatexactly77 I really hope he feels the support I’m trying to give. He says he does but I can see the fog and self-doubt so I hope he’s not just saying that.
I think I’ll have to talk to someone close to me if it continues like this because I feel like I’m living on edge and that’s hard to maintain when you’re around other people.

@constantcycle @Gettingbysomehow Thank you so much for your honest and positive posts. He is having IBS issues too and I wasn’t sure if that was from the meds or his anxiety upsetting his stomach as I can react that way.
it’s reassuring that you both saw such a positive improvement over time. Well done on your journey. I guess we’re at the beginning of it all right now and everything seems so hard.

@constantcycle I spoke to our pharmacist earlier to talk over changing the medication time and other things and he was very good. He thinks the same as you and other posters that DH may need something to try and mitigate the acute symptoms he’s experiencing right now while he waits for the meds to (hopefully) take effect.

@Gettingbysomehow That’s good to know about coming off it. Do you mind me asking what dose you were on? He’s on 10mg for now.

Btw op, forgot to mention …

I am NOT a doctor so feel free to ignore this advice and maybe your dh’s doctor has already checked this out. but has your dh had his testosterone levels checked?

I only ask bc the husband of one of my friends suffered from anxiety and low mood caused by this. Well the anxiety was a result of the low mood to be more precise because he couldn’t motivate himself to do things he would have previously taken in his stride.

It sounds as if your dh’s issue is related to bereavement so probably not relevant here, but just something about your op and you using the word “blindsided” makes me think it might be worth checking out?

Women are prescribed anti-depressants all of the time when really it’s hormonal issues that are causing problems, and the same can happen for men.

The symptoms of low testosterone tend to be fat tummy, eyebrows that thin, especially towards outsides (direction of ears), dry skin with very fine lines, cold hands and feet, fatigue, low mood etc

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-menopause/

Thanks so much @Andthispointstowhatexactly77 That’s so helpful. His GP has booked him in for blood tests in two weeks so I’ll definitely make sure testosterone is on the list to check. It sounds very similar.
I’ve phoned the GP surgery and asked for him to call us back. Like I said the pharmacist recommended something like Valium to just get him over the initial two week before the Escitalopram kicks in. Feel like I’m in an alternate universe with how fast this has all moved.

I felt exactly like your oh, including the loss of confidence. Escitalopram saved me and I’m really myself again, I can’t say enough how good this medication was for me.
i had side effects in the first 2 weeks - headaches, weird dreams, sweating at night. All gone and nothing since then, I’m hardly ever anxious anymore. I only wish I hadn’t been this scared of antidepressants and taken it sooner!

I take it in the morning.

Oh wow @SarahLdn740 Thats so reassuring to hear. Your symptoms/reactions sound very similar. I’m going to read that to him. I can’t wait for him to feel like you describe.
Honestly, it’s been great to message here and hear from you all. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences.

Did anyone find they were very drowsy or sleepy by taking it in the morning? This is why he started it at night to begin with.

Also, yesterday the GP prescribed him a few Zanax to deal with the acute symptoms while waiting for the Escitalopram to kick in.
He was unsure but has just taken one. They’re addictive aren’t they?
New questions - how long do these take to kick in? How should he expect to feel; numbed or just relaxed/less anxious? Anything I should watch out for?

His stomach is still really nauseous.

I don’t have experience of taking Escitalopram so can’t advise but I hope your dh starts to feel better this weekend op 💐

Thanks so much @Andthispointstowhatexactly77
Me too