Toddler mum needs help

[LilacHazeSun]

Hi All,

im a long time lurker on MN but thought i would pluck up the courage to do my own thread in the hope i can have some reassurance.

there are a few things i need to unpack but overall im just feeling abit lost.

it all started with tiredness earlier this year, i ended up getting bloods and all has come back fine other than low vitamin D. this has defo progressed into health anxiety.

My main question here would be, can broken sleep and very early wake ups make you feel groggy the next day? my little one wakes up atleast twice a night and then is up from 5am. she is still next to me in her cot (i plan to move her into her own room asap) ive also found that im being jolted awake by her crying (my heart beating fast etc) so my wake ups arent eased into. Would this interfere with my nervous system? making me on edge more etc? I feel like in the mornings im not fully refreshed at all. its given me a fear of mornings.

This brings me to my next point, how do i go about getting her into her own room and teach her not to wake up in the night so much? i know its my own fault, id also ideally not like to do the cry it out method as i think shes too old for that?

any tips or anyone who has been through this would be appreciated.

thank you xx

Yes, broken and little sleep makes you feel awful the next day! It's no wonder you feel groggy and tired! Low vitamin D will also affect how you feel. How old is your toddler?

She is 17 Months Old. Ive never let her cry and always jump over to her the moment she wakes up/cries/stirs , which is probably going to make it harder when transitioning 😅

I would press ahead with putting her in her own room. She may wake briefly then resettle herself without even disturbing you.

Poor thing. Sleep deprivation can absolutely ruin you. In the short term can anyone give you a night off? Have you got a partner?

I have, he takes over when it comes to weekends however im on high alert all the time so when she wakes so do i. it is only brief wake ups, maybe just for a resettle again. the odd night i get a full sleep but it goes back to the same routine again of wake ups x

I would definitely take the plunge and move her to her own room. Just do it and see how it goes.With her so near you you're bound to notice every little snuffle and movement. It could be a game changer. The good news is that this phase doesn't last, it won't be too long before she's sleeping through peacefully. Its totally understandable that your nerves are feeling on edge, it's because of the lack of sleep. I had a 5am waker too and was a zombie for the first couple of years so I know how you feel x

There's lots of methods you can use to try and help her not wake up. It depends on what feels comfortable to you. I'd do some research online about different methods, read a few books and see what suits.

Broken and poor quality sleep has all sorts of horrible effects on our mind and body. I recall feeling nervous and anxious when my baby was fast asleep because he was a very unsettled baby I knew he was going to wake up at some point so I was constantly on edge. It’s a really rough time.

My baby always started off going to sleep in his cot but I’d bring him into me during the night when he’d wake up. Despite everyone telling me what a shit idea this was and I’d never get my own bed back, he naturally transitioned to sleeping on his own all night ages around 2. His sleep also became more settled at that time. So my only advice would be to do what feels comfortable for you, even if that’s not what everyone else wants you to do.

Mine woke frequently and early for a very long time so I feel you. I would firstly move her into her own room. Just go for it and expect some unsettled nights at first where you are in and out. I'd expect her to still wake to be honest and it's a pain to have to drag yourself out but at this age I started splitting wakes with partner so he went in for any before say 1am and me after. Maybe at first you could camp out in her room for the night on floor to see how she adjusts?

I have also never let mine cry, altho sometimes he just does roll over and go back to sleep. At this age most sleep consultants I've seen say not to use controlled crying or cry it out anyway, as they are so aware and could become very upset, depending on temperament. It will likely need to be more gradual and supported eg the disappearing chair method. We never actually did this though, personally we found that once we maximized sleep pressure and stopped night feeds he went to sleeping through (not all the time, but fairly regularly). If you're aiming for more than 12hrs total sleep including naps in 24hrs I'd consider pushing bedtime or capping nap a little to see if that may help? Do you feed back to sleep or resettle another way? What time is bed and nap?