Repeatedly having episodes of depression

[Imwussgetmeouttahere]

I'm stuck in one now, have been for approximately 3 weeks. I have insomnia, anxiety, low mood, I'm self-harming and have an unhealthy interest in death. Sounds terrible when I read that back. I don't have any plans.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I'm taking ADs.

I seem to get some control of my symptoms for a few weeks then it hits me again and I've no idea why or how to stop this exhausting cycle. I'm not even certain the diagnosis is accurate.

It's so draining. Has anyone had a similar experience? I've no idea what to do to help myself.

I'm sorry, that sounds very tough and draining. I don't have any groundbreaking advice but picked up on the insomnia. Poor sleep is so crippling mentally, and makes the depression so hard to get under control. Can you do all you can to focus on that - get some early daylight, no screens before bed, eat kiwis etc. Maybe even get some help from the gp for your sleep and see if that helps with your depression symptoms.

Does this depression coincide with your cycle? Do you feel very energised when you're not depressed?

I do have a family. 2 grown up children, 1 primary school aged. I've told my partner, he doesn't know how to help me or what to say. I think he's fed up of seeing me like this.

I have Zopiclone. I've been on them for so long that they don't help much now. I work full time and can't take any more time off or I'll receive a warning.

I have a telephone appointment in a few weeks to start counselling. I'm so exhausted. Just flat and everything is so hard, even the basics like getting ready for the day. I'm not sure I have the energy to keep fighting this. It's like walking through tar or treacle. I want to give up but my youngest really needs me.

I'm on 225mg venlafaxine, so I'm not sure if there's scope there to increase. Doesn't seem to help much anyway.

There's definitely a cyclical element to it, but it's not linked to my periods. I have a coil so rarely get them.

When I'm having a better time, life feels great. I go shopping for meals, make plans which I later regret. I just feel what I think most others experience, but it doesn't last long.