@springbringshope
I may be sensitive but you do sound like you have jumped in with a narrative you carry regarding middle class people.
You might say sensitive, but one could also wonder if you're being defensive. Any assumptions I have made were because of the absence of contrary information. The whimsical narrative I provided was because your original post was missing a lot of information. My professional experience of this is predominantly as I described.
firstly she is our youngest so we have learned an awful lot about parental pressure with our eldest dcs and seeing the devastating outcomes with some of their friends (suicide). We have always maintained healthy communication with our dd. She is remarkably good at advocating for herself and incredibly self aware.
I hear this a lot and one thing I have shared with parents, health visitors and school nurses is to avoid any ideas that you can learn about one child by parenting another; children tend to figure out their own unique niches in the family, often avoiding as much overlap in the Venn diagram of parental attention. I am sorry to hear that your other children have had those experiences, but equally children, especially teenagers and young adults, are very good at keeping secrets and not raising suspicion. You very rarely hear about normal children who struggle killing themselves, it is either those who have been 'let down by the system' or 'nobody would have known'.
[S]econdly, she sees a psychologist weekly or fortnightly for talking therapies CBT and EMDR. We are not pill shovelling parents.
This is important context that was missing from your OP. My narrative was based on the fact that this was missing. Your priority, reading this OP was about her exams and academic capacities, it reads like they are your concerns.
Secondly, talking therapies and CBT are (almost) the same thing, and EMDR is a trauma therapy, so here is something else missing from the OP.
Edit: I acknowledge your later post saying that this is for the panic, but the evidence for EMDR in panic disorders is only that it is, "better than sitting on a waiting list."
She is not some pampered princess with attention seeking issues or rebelling against her helicopter parents.
I have never in my whole professional life worked with an attention-seeking pampered princess. The closest would be attention-needing, emotionally neglected princesses, whose parents might ask me, "I bought her a yacht for her birthday, I don't know what she has to be depressed about." My post placed no judgement or blame on DD.
She is completely fed up of feeling the way she is feeling and we are simply approaching her very very severe anxiety and panic disorder from every angle we can.
Except you're not... this was my point... not one of judgement about your profound wealth, but your lack of curiosity about her.
You have decided she is genetically predisposed.
You have decided that all of her difficulties are because she is a girl with ADHD
You have taken her to the best private psychiatrist you can, who will reinforce the biological model, even though the medication isn't working.
You've probably gotten her a really expensive psychologist who can do all of the therapies that she needs... and she is getting worse.
Why is her mental health worse now than before, but there's no mention of a review and change of tack. As another poster mentioned, DBT or EmReg might be helpful for her, but if the problems aren't purely genetic or ADHD-related, then psychoanalysis would likely help (and you'll love it, it's super expensive; very NW8! [also available in the NHS in some places])
I might be completely wrong, I occasionally am, and I don't know you from Adam, and this is just a short Mumnet post, but my point was that all you mentioned at the beginning was your anxiety about her exam results, the private psychiatrist and the medication, and your desperation. The only part that seemed to belong to her was the description of feeling blunted (which is usually a sign of being overmedicated)