How will I cope?

[TheHazelViewer]

Hi all, currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I have struggled with anxiety and OCD in the past but that’s all under control & I haven’t struggled in a long time, until recently.

My grandma has taken very poorly over the last 5 weeks and is in hospital with terminal cancer. She’s not doing well and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a loved one be so sick. She was my best friend, I saw her every weekend & took one of my cats up to her house every week to visit. Coping with her being so poorly has really taken its toll and I spend most evenings crying myself to sleep.

Today while I was at work, I found out we lost one of our two cats. My heart has completely shattered and I’ve honestly never felt so broken. That was our baby 🤍

i feel so guilty to say the excitement for this pregnancy has almost disappeared. We have our gender scan booked in a couple of weeks and I cant even force myself to look forward to it. We have a holiday booked for straight after that and I could just cancel it with the way I’m feeling now. I can’t see myself feeling happy again.

I am so grateful to be having a baby but it seems like I got pregnant, and everything has gone wrong.

I am going to see the GP tomorrow/Monday and get into some sort of counselling/therapy as I have found that useful before.

any wise words appreciated. My heart is hurting right now :(

So sorry to hear about your grandma being so poorly and also for the loss of your cat. Sounds like a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you. Do you have any support from partner / family? I think seeing your GP is a good idea. You can always come here to talk and we will listen.
Your grandma would want you to look forward to having the baby. You need to look after yourself as best you can.

I wouldn't cancel or postpone anything. This is a volatile period and your emotions will come and go. I would just take it hour by hour, day by day. You will come through this.

I hope your GP visit goes well and you get a referral to a counsellor. You can also explore grief groups in your area, often these are free and informal and you hear a wide range of perspectives from folks from all walks of life. Sometimes hearing other talks about what they are going through can give us new perspectives and tools to use in our own life.