How can I stop overthinking?

[09valencia]

When I come home from work all I do is dissect every conversation we have . I always think I say the wrong thing or I've offended someone and then I start thinking they're talking about me behind my back .
My thoughts just runaway with me and I want it all to stop it's making me feel miserable.

This is something that started with me in peri menopause, how old are you?

Meditation

CBT

A sport that you find really involving

Therapy

I'm 56 I thought I would be able to control this by now . But thanks for suggestions

My therapist asked me what it felt like. I said like a tree with the trunk being the main subject and then my head goes up and off on loads of branches and some then suddenly end (when it gets to a catastrophic thought.)

I hadn't linked it to menopause but this did happen during my peri menopause/menopause time.

She taught me to notice I was going into branches and say to myself "stop" and imagine the tree being chopped down.

It took me a while to get the coping strategy working but it did.

So I'd say first thing it's how do the thoughts appear to you- does if feel like my tree description? Can you describe what it feels like? Then try and create a strategy of how to stop your thought process going into over thinking mode.

I always think I say the wrong thing or I've offended someone and then I start thinking they're talking about me behind my back

Has this always been a problem or has it started recently?

Mindfulness might help, CBT, meditation, medication, journalling, yoga or other therapy.

It's always been a problem but seems to have got out of control recently .

Out of control is possibly a link to you being in low energy or higher stress? I find the more relaxed I am the less I suffer.

OK. Any particular trigger for it getting worse recently? Is there anything else going on your life that could be contributing?

When you say 'always' when did it start? School or work?

What makes you think people are talking about you?

Because quite honestly, unless you know a lot of real gossipy types, very few people are bothered about what others say and are thinking far more about their own day and things they have going on.

Because they gossip about other people . I guess I'm just paranoid when I write it down it sounds irrational and you're probably right they're too busy with they're own lives .

Tune into the emotion/s and sit with it/ them for a bit, tend to it, ( what do you need in that moment?) or act opposite to it if it isn't serving you well.

Emotions don't last for long, they come in waves.

On the other hand if you continue to feed your thoughts with emotions both are likely to get more intense.

Sometimes we try and outthink our thoughts and although understandable it isn't very helpful

@09valencia just wanted to say that i relate to that feeling of thinking people are talking negatively about you. I was always quite paranoid, constantly surveying my surroundings to try to see if people were looking at me funny or laughing at me. So I want to say you're not alone. Mine was down to childhood trauma and being neurodivergent. What has helped me is EMDR to get to the roots of things, sertraline for my anxiety, enough sleep, meditation can be very good. Tara Brach has some really good meditation on YouTube.