How to help someone with depression

[Greensleeves5000]

Hi, I wonder if anyone has any tips or ideas of how I can help my dad. He has been diagnosed with psychotic depression in 2024. He has since been discharged from hospital, but has since been readmitted to the crisis team and discharged again. He won't accept any form of help or support, talking groups, the 'dors' carers, a paid carer, popping to citizens advice. He won't even attend doctors appointments for pre existing medical conditions. The doctor phoned me to ask him to contact him and dad said he won't phone them. He doesn't accept he has depression, which is suppose is the start of any healing, but I don't know how to help him. I listen to him, empathize with how he is feeling and offer solutions, but he says there is no point. How can I help him?

Respect that he doesn't want help and stop talking about it. Stop offering solutions. He's perfectly aware of the help he's been offered and how to access it.

Stay in touch fairly often and check if he wants any practical help - cooking, cleaning, admin, as these can be overwhelming during depression. Don't fight his battles for him against his will - you need to conserve your energy as depression is an absolute vampire - but remind him if he needs you or changes his mind about help or support, you are here.

You could also suggest meet ups that have in built impact on mental health such as a walk in nature, a very healthy lunch, tickets to music or a comedian he likes.

that's hard especially if there is an element of psychosis.
I think the only things you can do are

try to drum into him that if he feels suicidal and wants to act on it that the only thing he needs to know is that it is a sign he is very unwell and must seek help immediately.

carry on doing what you are doing - seeing him, listening, and so on.

being depressed even without psychosis which I have no experience of is a dark place and its hard to understand if you haven't been there. The fact is depression won't last forever and that is the challenge when you in the worst of it, everything seems so dark and bleak and never ending and you start to feel everyone would be better off without you as you are ruining other people's lives with your darkness.

the only other thing I would suggest is trying to break him out of his pattern - go on holiday or for a break - but like I said, I have no experience of psychosis myself so I'd suggest you take medical advice about the risk involved with that if there are any or if its a good idea.

Thank you to those who have offered supportive advice.