There's a history of BiPolar disorder in my family, my grandmother, my mother, my aunt, and others have all suffered to some extent, but my brother seems to be the most severely affected. Part of the problem, that my mother is only now admitting, is that he's an alcoholic.
He and I have had a strained relationship over the years, exacerbated by my mother's denial of his issues and desire to meet 'as a family' which is to say the 3 of us. Moving from London to the West Coast 6 years ago put an end to that, for which I was relieved.
He's just now coming out of a particularly bad depressive episode. First I heard of this was a few weeks after Christmas when my mother told me he was upset about an argument we'd had shortly before I moved away which he ended by saying he thought we needed a 'complete break'.
Two things I'm concerned about.
One, is it possible to ameliorate the ups and downs of BiPolar if one is aware of certain triggers? In his case, the lead up to Christmas always seems difficult, is there anyway to lessen his distress in the approach to Christmas?
The second is that I always seem to get somehow blamed for his episodes. Years ago, I apparently 'caused' an episode by asking if he wanted to go for a coffee when he'd given up caffeine, more recently it's somehow my fault he's upset that we're not in contact because he said we needed a 'complete break'. Is there any point in pushing back on this? He gets these ideas and my mother supports them, should I just let it go?