How long is long enough- cant cope with husbands moods & medication side effects

[Dontwantthis84]

I've written on here before but have name changed since then.
Background, husband started getting serious depression 3 years ago, he stopped eating, looking after himself, working, and could hardly get out of bed.
This then moved on to psychosis aswell, hearing voices, telling him to commit suicide, demonic voices, seeing things and becoming paranoid and delusional.
We noticed all of this before it completely took over him and he got lots of help very quickly from the psychosis early intervention team. Luckily he avoided being sectioned.
Since then life has been hell really, for him and the rest of us. His recovery has been extremely slow (3 years and counting) he has had numerous medication changes and they hardly work.
They have taken the edge off his depression and allow him to function better albeit with alot of anxiety, they have also taken away his paranoia and delusions. But he still hears voices. Again it's taken away the severe ones but the rest is still there.
His mental health team can't understand why the tablets don't seem to work enough on him. They up and up to doses and it makes no change to his symptoms but give him terrible side effects.
The side effects are harder for him to live with than the actual voices.
On top of this he has a different personality. He is very flat which is understandable. But he gets angry very easily . He was never like this before.
I make a huge amount of allowances for him but it effects every moment of our lives.
We have 2 teenagers who of course push the boundaries etc and I feel he over reacts all the time to them. To the point they are telling me they don't like him ..
And to be honest I am scared of him. I feel like I don't know him.
I tell his nurse and she makes understanding noises but that's it.
He and us thought that this was fixable and things would continue to improve but they arent and I don't know how much longer we can all live like this.
He's on 450mg quetiapine and amlodypine.
Can anyone tell me it will get better or what to do next?
He's still off work after 3 years and never leaves the house

It sounds so difficult OP.
What would you like to do in an ideal world?

You should not be afraid in your own home. I know you’ve made marriage vows but that’s unacceptable. Everyone needs a home they can rest and relax in.

Have you explored how divorce would look for you? Maybe speak to a solicitor about that.

Have you spoken to your husband directly about the issue? Is there anything stopping you doing that right now?

I dont know what i want. I feel so sorry for him and so sad about the whole situation.
I want to support him as best as I can but it's very difficult. He's not very open either me .

So, did he get diagnosed with schizophrenia?

Sorry OP, do you mean amlodipine, that is for blood pressure.
DH was prescribed quetiapine and mirtazapine.

Do you think he would do better living alone or in supported accommodation? Are either of those an option?

You can continue being married and continue supporting him whilst also not being under the same roof. But this might be pie in the sky due to finances- just throwing it out there in case it’s possible.

Apologise, medication is quetiapine and Aripiprazole

Diagnosis is psychotic depression

Hi, I am so sorry that your family is experiencing this. I don't really have any advice but am in a similar situation with my 26yo DD. No history of mental illness then full on psychotic episode that did result in a section. First 2 anti psychotics had no effect, now on Olanzapine, that seems to be helping symptoms but like your husband she rarely leaves the house. I hope bumping this thread may lead to advice from someone who has got through this or advice from mental health professional.

I'm bipolar so slightly different but I developed treatment resistant severe depression with psychosis after having my daughter. I have been on quetiapine since 2012 which has done a good job of managing my mood. I've been on doses between 300 and 800 mg. For me 400-600mg keeps me stable, 600mg treats my moderate depressions and for hypomania, mania and psychosis I have been on 600-800mg. Everyone is different I just wanted to demonstrate how the dose can vary depending on symptoms.

I was on 400mg when my daughter was born increased to 600mg to treat the depression and psychosis but it didn't help. I trialled 3 different antidepressants at one point 2 at a time. My quetiapine went up to 700mg as I'm prone to mania when on antidepressants. This didn't resolve my symptoms over a 8-9 month period so I was admitted into a mother and baby unit in a psychiatric hospital. The main driving force behind this was being able to make quicker and bolder medication changes.
My quetiapine was increased to 800mg, I was also on 45mg mirtazapine and I had venlafaxine added. This was my last option whilst also breastfeeding. Thankfully I was able to stop breastfeeding and stopped the venlafaxine and started on lithium. My dose was increased quite quickly. Normal lithium levels are 0.4 -1.0 and the psychosis went at 0.8 but I needed 0.9 and higher to help the depression. It wasn't quite enough on its own so they added in lamotrigine as well. I was in hospital for 10 weeks and in that time they managed to stop the psychosis and get me starting to function a bit better. I went back to work on a phased return a week after starting on 2 days a week. It took 2 months to get up to 4 days a week but found that I couldn't work more than two days in a row so I settled there and formally dropped down to 4 days a week having Wednesdays off. I had therapy before and after my admission and it took a year from my discharge to get back to normal, 2 years from the start of the episodes. My quetiapine was dropped down to 600mg around this time but it took another year to get back to a place of good stability. I stopped the lamotrigine 18 months after I was discharged and the mirtazapine and lithium 2 and 2 and a half years afterwards.

Has he tried any mood stabiliser alongside the antipsychotics? I had resisted trying lithium for many years but I found it very effective in managing my moods. I'm not sure the lamotrigine did much, I think the other combination needed a bit more time. I only stopped the lithium as I wanted to try for a second baby and I had to stop the mirtazapine first as I didn't want it triggering mania without the lithium.

I had also held off being admitted in the past and only accepted the admission about 6 months after it was first suggested. There are negatives and positives the biggest advantage is the twice weekly medication reviews. It would have taken a lot longer to get to the right dose if I was in the community being reviewed every 6 weeks or longer. Does he still have support from the early intervention team?