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Husband withdrawing from family life

5 replies

Griefandwithdrawing · 26/02/2025 12:20

DH has becoming very withdrawn from family life, particularly over three weeks, but also probably over the last 6 months.

He is unhappy in his job. He changed career to something completely new, afterbeing very stressed in academia. He intially liked it, but a change of team leader has meant he is not enjoying the job. I've advised him to look for another job and offered contacts of people in the same industry who have said they will help. He hasn't approached them.

His job is fully WFH in our spare room. He has said he is struggling with this aspect. He has also moved out of our bed into the spare room and spends lots of time playing computer games in there. On the weekend he was in the spare room all day unless I specifically asked him to come out of there. We have 2 primary aged kids so it's not just us.asking him to come out the room just feels like it's putting a demand on him and not addressing the issue of my he's hiding in there.

Add in I lost my mum after quite a long period of caring for last month so it's been difficult for me.my dad died over 10 years ago so it's involved a lot of sorting out thing s alongside being heartbroke she is gone.

I feel disappointed that he isn't supporting me at this point in time. I'm assuming he is depressed but won't ackonedlge this. Every time I speak to him he just shuts down and we don't resolve anything.

What do I do at this point in time? I'm acutely greiving my mum and I can't support him in the same way I have done previously. Is counselling the way forward

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 26/02/2025 12:21

What's he like with his phone? Secretive?

Griefandwithdrawing · 26/02/2025 12:28

TallulahBetty · 26/02/2025 12:21

What's he like with his phone? Secretive?

Nope, not secretive just again playing games. It's like he is just constantly trying to distract himself from his life.

OP posts:
ClimbingGreySquirrels · 26/02/2025 12:42

I think it needs GP. Would he go?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care.

Blinkingmarvellous · 26/02/2025 13:25

See if you can get him to go out for a meal so that you have a chance to chat. There may be an employee assistance programme which could help with counselling. A visit to the GP would also definitely be a good idea. If he won't engage are there any other family members who could chat to him?

Griefandwithdrawing · 26/02/2025 13:41

I just made him come on a walk in the sunshine (out of the bloody spare room!) which has helped and encouraged him to meet a friend tomorrow night for drinks. The person I put him in contact with ages ago (he's a school dad). I also told him I'm worried about him. I think his self confidence has been crushed by stress at work.

I want to help him, at the same time I feel quite abandoned by him for any emotional support for me, which feels so petty to say. I know we are both going through a hard time and need to support each other.

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