can't be bothered namechanging...am going through a lot of stressful sh*t atm, some of which is self inflicted but not all...
everything atm feels like moving through tar...takes all my concentration just to get the kids' dinner ready and then I feel overwhelmed cos there is more stuff to do. Have frequently been wishing I were dead, though not actively suicidal iykwim
anyway today got ds1's teeth done and into bed, read him a version of the selfish giant from his story collection
it got to the bit where the giant is old and sees the boy again and he says 'come and play in my garden now' & takes him away...I suddenly couldn't read it or control my voice, I started crying quite hard and ds1 was just looking at me. I said I was sad because the giant was dead which looking back may not have been the thing to say to my poor lad
he went and told dh 'the story made mummy sad'
Am clearly not in control of self in any way. Think I should go back to the doc but am on 20mg sertraline already. Clearly not working though.