How do I find someone to talk to?

[ButSpringDidNotKnow]

My very elderly parents are ill and their house is crumbling and my head is full of thoughts I dare not think and that I cannot possibly say to my siblings. I think I will burst.

How do I find someone who will hear me and not think me terrible?

Here if you like? It’s anonymous. Or a charity like Samaritans? Or a private counsellor?
sorry you are struggling

The Samaritans - 116 123. Whatever you're thinking it's OK and you're not a bad person.

Do you provide any care to them? doesn't have to be personal care, could be practical or emotional. If so you could have a Carers Assessment from your local council. I do these at work and honestly often people say the best part was being able to offload and say the things they wanted to but couldn't say. Your local carer support agency could be useful too.
Does your GP surgery have a social prescriber? They're used to hearing everything too.
How old are you? You could ring Silverline.

I can't here because people who have no idea what it's like will absolutely rip into me. I know I'm not a bad person. I do not resent a moment of the time I'm giving my parents, and everything I'm doing I'm doing with love, and they understand and appreciate. I'm so lucky. But I'm terrified of the future and I'm terrified by my thoughts.

Silverline sounds amazing, and I'm old enough, but they don't sound right for what I need. I'm not lonely - other than in my thoughts.

I live a couple of hours away, so I can't provide care, but the current crisis means I've taken time off work so that all the siblings can support. But it's going to go on, and I have to go back to work eventually. The care needs are about to shoot through the roof. The methodical organiser sibling is dealing with the agencies.

GP might be a good call. I'd no idea that there might be something there for me as I'm not actually depressed or ill from this situation (though I daresay that might come if I don't address this).

Do you know there's an Elderly Parents board on here? I ranted quite excessively on there before having a nervous breakdown. Please don't be me!

No one is going to rip into you on here OP. A lot of us have conflicted feelings about our elderly parents and I doubt you are thinking anything worse than some of us!

I have a similar situation.
I will hear you, and I don't think you're terrible.

It's very difficult having elderly parents. It's also stressful if they have too much stuff in their home and you know it will be horrible having to go through it all when the time comes. I loved my Mum and didn't resent the time and care I gave her towards the end of her life but I did find the going through things very stressful and I was annoyed that Mum had still got lots of Dads things including clothes because he had died 20 years earlier and I thought someone might have been glad of his clothes. My sister's and I took most things, clothing, off to a charity shop about 30 miles from where Mum lived. Because even though we wanted someone to wear and benefit from her clothes we didn't necessarily want to see someone wearing it.