Here to vent!

[marigold1593]

I'm a 71 year old woman looking after my 34 year old daughter who was diagnosed with autism late in her life. Quite frankly my life is hell. She has frequent meltdowns which I fully admit I find it hard to deal with. I'm frequently hit or pushed around. She's only small, but very strong when angry.

So here's the thing, I have a mass in my chest ( cancer) and I'm waiting for an operation. We have no family to help and she'll be on her own for five days, the operation is complicated. She's threatened to overdose while I'm gone. She depends on me to look after her which is hard at the moment as I'm in a lot of pain. I have morphine but it makes me sleepy.

She did overdose last year and was in hospital for a week so it's a definite possibility. What the hell do I do?

She actually resents me having cancer because "I get all the treatment I need" and she gets no help with her mental health ☹️

I have thought about moving out ( it's her house) but I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got.

If you've read this far, thank you! 🙏🏻 I have no one I can talk to about this in real life 😢

Do you get any carers allowance at all, OP? Have you had a carers assessment and has your daughter had a needs assessment? Those would allow you to potentially go down the route of having carers in to take the pressure off of you, and of having respite care provided whilst you are recovering Carers' breaks and respite care - Social care and support guide - NHS

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@xmasdealhunter thanks for answering. I can't get carers allowance as I'm on a state pension.
The links you sent are very handy, thank you! I will definitely look at respite care 😊

Sorry to hear you're having so much to deal with. Your daughter needs to realise that if she genuinely wants to work on her mental health then she needs to be the one to do it. Private therapy may be a good way to go with a therapist who specialises in autism. Autism is not an excuse to treat you like a second class citizen, and neither is poor mental health. I say this as an autistic adult myself. Time for your daughter to take some responsibility for her own mental health. I wish you the best with your own treatment

@changethat
Thank you so much. I think my daughter does use her autism as an excuse to do what she likes at times. Meltdowns are terrifying to me. I never know if I'm going to get hurt. She knows how much I love our dog and uses that against me too. I wish I could just leave.

Does she have any professionals involved?