Finding a healthier approach to exercise and food

[applerose01]

I would appreciate some advice / plain talking.

I'm in my 40's and have a really good life (strong marriage, lovely DC, a job I'm happy with and doing well in etc.). Since I was in my teens however I have struggled with disordered eating and still have to try hard to accept and appreciate myself.

I previously had cancer. That led me to focus on ensuring I have large amounts of fruit and vegetables in my diet, don't eat red meat etc. I eat regularly but relatively little, particularly considering my exercise levels, and it's very healthy stuff.

I exercise a lot - probably about 2hrs a day in our home gym (1hr cardio, 1hr strength). I normally enjoy it and I like feeling strong and toned/lean. But it means I get less sleep than is probably ideal (I get around 6hrs a night), since I fit it in before getting the children up / to school and starting work (DH works away from home during the week so I solo parent). I eat enough to fuel these workouts but DH did comment yesterday that I was looking a bit skinny (before anyone jumps on this, I'm happy for him to say that: that's not an issue) and I am tired.

I know that this way of living isn't sustainable. But I think I'm scared to do less: I probably am addicted to the exercise, plus I think I fear my cancer risk will increase if I become more sedentary (my job is desk-based) or eat less 'healthily'.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is the answer to slowly reduce exercise / increase food intake? Or go totally cold turkey on the exercise? Any thoughts? I have previously been in therapy but found it fairly useless to be honest.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling OP. It sounds really hard because you’ve had health issues in the past and it makes sense that you’re concerned about your health in the here and now.

As a sense check from someone with no eating issues, exercising 2 hours per day every single day AND parenting and working sounds too much for me. Sleep wise- 6 hours isn’t horrifically bad. But you could do with another couple of hours a night. Do you have any time to “catch up” eg lie ins at the weekend?

Weight wise- you have said your husband has said you’re skinny. Have you weighed yourself and done your BMI? Or is that triggering for you?

Has anything in the past helped you? Have you had therapy etc?

2 hours training per day is too much - we need rest days in order for our bodies to recover and tone.

I would suggest:
-Separating your cardio and strength days
--for example, cardio on Mon, Wednesday, and Fridays
-Separating your strength days
--for example, upper body on Tuesday, legs on Thursday
-Have the weekend as rest and recovery days
--so that your body can rebuild muscle fibres from your weeks training, and
--so that you can spend time with your husband and kids when you are all home.

And extra hour or two of sleep would also see you achieve more gains.

This would be the most efficient way train.

What are your training goals? Do you have an endurance target? Or strength target? Or would you like a more tone stomach and waist, and to lift the buttocks?

Thank you for your kind messages. Theoretically I do lie in at the weekend but because of what we have on with the children, it’s generally max once, not every weekend and 8am latest! But both days are almost always better than mid week.

I had a private GP health check a few months ago for our insurance and my bmi was I think just over 20. So the GP said I was fine. My body fat was borderline low though (13%??) although since my periods are regular she wasn’t worried. I don’t otherwise ever weigh myself or count calories of either food or exercise: I don’t want to get into that spiral again. But I ‘feel’ skinny if that makes sense..

I’ve had therapy before re the eating and the general low self-esteem / -image. Have done a lot of digging into my past and the messages I got about myself there which led to these feelings, and am much stronger mentally now than I ever was, after hitting rock bottom a few years ago. But I just want to press the reset button on my approach to food and exercise and I don’t know how.