Life is too overwhelming

[tralalaa1225]

I can't cope anymore. In the last 3 years I've dealt with the death of my DM after a horrible illness, business bankruptcy, a bitter divorce, rescuing family members from an alcoholic abuser, new job and moving house.

I am on my knees with exhaustion and anxiety. My DC barely talk to me for leaving their Dad (even though he treated me like shit) and I still need to look for a house to buy.

I am lonely, overwhelmed and feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. The smallest thing terrifies me now and I'm on the edge of a some sort of breakdown. I seem unable to make the smallest of decisions and I feel permanently terrified.

I was given time off my job last summer when the stress of the divorce got too much and I can't take anymore time off. I've only been there a year and I feel useless.

I don't really have much other family and I don't want to offload too much on friends. Am on antidepressants but they don't seem to be doing much.
I honestly feel worthless

I would go back to your GP and either adjust your medication or try something else. If you're not having therapy, try BACP for a therapist.

Try journalling. If you've got no one to talk to then write it down. You can contact the Samaritans 24/7 to talk.

For the time being, focus on feeling better.

I do have a journal but can't get motivated enough to write in it.

I had 6 weeks of "choice theory" therapy last Autumn which did help a bit but I can't remember anything useful to carry move this current crisis.

Will go back to the GP, I was prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine for insomnia but it doesn't seem to help my low mood or anxiety.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. With what you've been through, it's understandable, so go easy on yourself.

Try and take it one minute, hour and day at a time and go back to your GP to see if they can do anything else.

Hang in there. Things will get better x

Oh lovely you've had a huge amount thrown at you so no wondering you're at the end of your limit. Go easy on yourself.

Could you go back to the GP and ask for some
help with your anxiety?

It will get better I promise x

I just told my daughter (18) I wasn't feeling great. She just rolled her eyes and walked out the room. I'm trying my hardest to let so much slide with her but I get nothing back

I feel like running away

I’m so sorry that you’ve been having to deal with so much OP.
Can you call a helpline like the Samaritans for example, just so that you have someone to talk to?

Your 18 year old doesn’t understand how you are feeling, our kids can do so dismissive sometimes can’t they. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t care though, we just seem to think of our parents as invincible.

How long have you been on your antidepressants? If it’s only been a short period of time, one of the (cruel) side effects is feeling worse before you feel better.
If you’ve been on them for a while, maybe you need to switch or increase your dose. Please do make an appointment with your GP.

Take buying a house off the table for now, wait until you've got your equilibrium back a bit. Concentrate on your job and your children (and don't be afraid to be blunt with them if necessary and they are old enough).

Hi OP if you want to offload guilt free call the Samaritans. They’re there to listen and won’t tell you what to do. They’ll just help you explore your feelings. You don’t have to feel suicidal to call them. Honestly give it a try- you’ll feel better at the end of the call.

I can't. For various reasons I'm currently renting a house informally and the owner is trying to sell (too big for me).

I think the situation is a a big factor in what makes me feel so 'unsafe'. I know getting over this hurdle will help but it seems so overwhelming at the moment.

I hope you have some success with the GP. Did they talk you through the options for the various medications the last time?

These are the options I was given by my GP. It might be worth having a discussion to see what could work better for you.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/sleeping-pills-and-minor-tranquillisers-a-z/promethazine/

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/propranolol/

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/sertraline/

I know it's more of a long-term solution, but counselling could also help.

So sorry you're in this position. I really hope you can find something to help.