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Social anxiety or autism?

9 replies

Peonyyyy · 14/02/2025 10:40

I know no one can diagnose me over the internet but I wondered if anyone could give their opinion on whether they think I sound autistic.

  • as a child, I sometimes told my friends I wanted to play on my own at break time to sort of have a break from them
  • I was known as shy growing up
  • I often prefer to do things alone than socialise, but do get lonely when I am alone. I like to go shopping for example either alone or with someone I’m very comfortable with eg my husband
  • Parties and work drinks where it’s a lot of people and I don’t know many of them well give me a lot of anxiety. I am not very good at small talk and keeping a conversation going. I much prefer being in a small group (not even one on one) so I can contribute but not feel huge pressure to keep the conversation going. I get so scared I’m going to be left on my own and people will see me with no one to talk to, or I’m going to get stuck with someone I don’t know well and not know how to talk to them
  • i enjoy going out and socialising if it’s people I know well and like, because I feel more comfortable
  • I often worry that I’ve overshared
  • I worry that I’ve been too quiet/boring
  • I worry that I’ve said something offensive without meaning to
  • I often used to get the wrong end of the stick with work at school. I would sometimes do some assigned homework completely wrong and be shocked that I’d done badly as I had no idea. Or I would get told off/get a letter home/get a bad parents evening review and would be surprised as I didn’t think I was any worse than any of my friends and they never seemed to get in trouble. I always felt that teachers or people in authority don’t like me
  • have been called weird a few times behind my back and to my face
  • on one occasion someone at school told me to ‘stop talking like that’ as though I was talking in a very monotone or annoying way (she wasn’t involved in the conversation, just nearby and was known to not be very nice)
  • I have friends but haven’t had close ones since school. I tend to like to not get too close to friends as I like my freedom and personal space, although I sometimes feel sad that I don’t have a close group of girls like I used to at school. I am never short of people to go for coffee or dinner with but no one is a very close friend

Is everyone like this or am I autistic? Is this normal? I am constantly feeling ‘other’ in social situations or when I think about them afterwards. I often look At others during social events to see if they seem as uncomfortable as me, to see if everyone feels this way or not.

I sometimes think it’s autism, and other times think I might just be very sensitive and an overthinker. Thanks

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 14/02/2025 10:42

I can’t help much but you do sound like a wonderful friend

Either way SSRIs can help enormously with anxiety around socialising if you did want to improve that side of things

Meecrowahvey · 14/02/2025 10:50

Doesn't sound autistic IMO. I'm just a random on the internet though.

Try the AQ50 test if you haven't already. Not sure how accurate it is though as I'm not autistic but yet score highly on it.

Beamur · 14/02/2025 10:56

Those wouldn't be unusual characteristics for the social communication aspect of autism, but could be social anxiety too.
Autism also tends to also have behaviour that's repetitive/restricted and issues around sensory input/overwhelm and emotional regulation.
You can be affected by one or two of these wider categories without it being autism.

Peonyyyy · 14/02/2025 11:06

Thank you all.

actually something I forgot to put on the list is that I can sometimes have meltdowns. Mainly when my day hasn’t gone well I can flip out in a way that can look extreme and go on a downward spiral of self loathing. I would say I’m not very good at controlling my emotions.

I will have a look at the AQ50 test.

OP posts:
Easipeelerie · 14/02/2025 11:08

Sounds to me like autism and it’s very typical that an autistic person might be socially anxious.

Peonyyyy · 14/02/2025 11:20

Just did the AQ50 test, and I only got 17.

I find I am good in social situations and enjoy them with some people, but really hate them with others (people I don’t know well or who make me feel uncomfortable, or who I think don’t like me).

it’s hard to answer some of the questions on the test as I feel the answer varies depending on the situation

OP posts:
Meecrowahvey · 14/02/2025 11:46

Thats a very low score.

You do sound like you over think/worry excessively. Have you tried things like CBT?

HarryVanderspeigle · 14/02/2025 12:02

I am not autistic and I can tick off almost everything you have said as being me. I love solitude, constantly feel like.i have said the wrong thing and hate parties.

Agree with pp that you should do an online quiz to see if you have a profile that might indicate autism

sofio · 14/02/2025 12:05

you sound like an introvert. have you taken the
myers briggs test? Have a look.

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