Anxiety and worry when making driving mistakes

[BeBlueAnt]

I'm a new driver, having only passed my driving test in August 2024.

I'm a fairly confident driver as the months have passed but every now and again I make small mistakes or doubt myself.

Today I was coming to a roundabout and I stayed in the left lane and exited at the 3rd exit. As soon as I did it I realised I was in the wrong and the panic and dread just overtook my mood.

Thankfully there were no other cars around and I had the roundabout to myself when doing this incorrectly.

I just feel like I should know these things already and feel like I'm breaking the law doing this and then that makes me spiral.

Any words of advice or anything to remember going forward when I make a small mistake?

It's so stressful sometimes when these things happen! Even super experienced drivers sometimes make mistakes, it's not unheard of 😃

How you deal with driving mistakes is the trick - if you find yourself in a lane you shouldn't be in / taking an exit you shouldn't take, don't panic immediately. Just go with it - take the exit / go in the direction the lane you're in is going, then at the soonest possible safe place, turn yourself around or change your direction and go back where you needed to.

There's nothing wrong with making a driving mistake if you react to it well, I've done it before and had to take a roundabout exit I didn't want to! It's way more dangerous to suddenly try to change lanes last minute, swerve into another lane or make an unexpected manoeuvre (both for yourself and others!) so my driving instructor told me to always make the mistake and then correct it 😊

Any words of advice or anything to remember going forward when I make a small mistake?

Yes. The way you learn is by making mistakes. We make a mistake, we learn from it and we don't make that mistake again. We make a different one next time, etc. etc.

Panic and dread are a bit of an overreaction to a minor error that affected no-one. Is there anything else going on in your life that's worrying you?

@Eyesopenwideawake
To be honest I am just a very worrisome person, always have been. If I do anything wrong I automatically stress and overthink about it and how I could have avoided it if I had done X, Y and Z.

I know myself that it's not a big deal as no one was impacted but the fact I made the mistake is making me spiral and thinking "what if I did that and someone exiting 3rd exit drove into the side of me because I wasn't meant to be there" etc.

Just poor mental health and low self confidence

I am just a very worrisome person, always have been

Just poor mental health and low self confidence

You weren't born with poor mental health and low self confidence so it's something you learnt along the way. Anything you learn, you can unlearn.

I have a self imposed rule. It's that when something like that happens, I do not allow myself to think about it when I'm still driving.

Getting stuck in a loop and thinking about it makes you much more vulnerable to fucking up again and killing yourself or others.

It took practice to master it, and you have to. Initially I would have to break the thought pattern by saying out loud "stop it". So that the spiral of thoughts is immediately broken. And by reminding myself not to think, and there's nothing you can do about it.

If you can't do that, you need to pull over safely and stop until you can get you self together.

I also breathe through the anxiety, and when I'm places where I'm more anxious I manage my breathing before I get anxious.

I also have some OCD thinking, catastrophise and had the same dread and horror driving. I was horrendous when I passed my test, and was absolutely convinced I'd kill my small children.

I kept at it, and have driven all over the country.

I also have plans for what to do in an emergency, so feel more in control. Eg which order to get the kids out of the car on the hard shoulder. Have a seat belt cutter on my keyring. Have recovery cover, and warm clothes in case I break down.

Well done for keeping at it, so many people don't drive put of their area/won't go on motorways etc. And it's a shame, as you can get through this.