Regret minor op, painful & feel disfigured and can't stop crying

[Sofabodatgym]

In childhood my mother I believe had a mild version of munchousen's by proxy, I was always taken to docs/experts even though wasn't ever properly ill and had a disfiguring facial operation because she insisted. Along with other abuse, she was a violent alcoholic.
In adulthood, I've had issues with boundaries and saying No and being respected. I had a coerced abortion in my 20s, my partner pressured me, I didn't stand up for myself, oddly the so-called Counsellor of clinic asked if I wanted it and I said No, she then went on to say she needed my signature (and money I guess) for it to go ahead. The doctor doing it gave me a lecture on my sexual behaviour whilst doing it. I had a mental breakdown afterwards and developed psychosomatic symptoms I still live with. And there have been other instances where I have been over-ruled regarding my body in NHS.
In middle age I was hopeful I could now stand my ground. Recently I was due to have two mini operations at NHS. One I needed, the other was debatable and it had been suggested an an earlier check up appt by a different doctor that I could watch and see for a year, as no one was sure. So, I went in very clear, that I wanted procedure A but not B. I was firm. It was not serious, I said no. And they started persuading me, at one point, I'm sat in a tiny room with 3 medical people stood over me saying to do it. I felt bullied.
So, now I'm yet again disfigured in another visible part of my body. The scar tissue is still painful in a weird insect crawling way 3 months later. And I hate myself for not standing my ground. I keep replaying the tiny room scene over and over again in my head.
I think I'm crying so much possibly due to other times in my life.
Obviously, if I mention this in RL people just say, be grateful you don't have cancer. It's not relatable for people. So I feel deeply isolated, I don't have a support network or partner. I never normally cry. This has really impacted me, I just want to go back in time. If I got disfigured in an accident I could probably manage, but this feels so utterly pointless.
Thank you for reading this long post.

That's dreadful, OP and I can understand your distress as the way you have been treated.
Have you thought about a complaint to the patient liaison service, PALS?

Thanks so much @SiobhanSharpe your empathy means a lot.
It did occur to me to complain, even though I eventually agreed. I would imagine it would go nowhere fast though. And it won't change anything. But thanks you

I think it depends on what outcome you would like. If it's an apology then it might be worth it -- you were essentially bullied into agreeing to have treatment you were unsure about.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I believe you.

I'm terrified of the hospital and medical procedures myself. I've had too many bad experiences so I can relate to you there. It's such an institutional environment, which can feel so oppressive when you're vulnerable. Sending you a big hug on that one.

I do think it could be worth complaining - just to get it all out and make sure someone recorded how they made you feel could be cathartic

I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you. If you feel up to it, a complaint may be worthwhile. Hopefully you can get an apology, help with the pain, and stop others from being in your situation.

If you need to go in to the drs in future, I'd recommend taking someone with you - preferably someone you know will stand up for you and not let you be bullied! You shouldn't need to do this, but we all hear stories where patients are railroaded into what the doctor wants to do. Also, I would ask for them to always confirm everything in writing and in that to acknowledge that you wanted x but they are insisting on y. You might find they suddenly back down when they realise they'll be giving you the evidence needed to sue their arses...

I hope the pain gets better, and I hope the visible scar fades quickly for you.

Thanks so much!!!! Really appreciated! And the putting stuff in writing is a really good idea.
I don't understand why consent is key in the climate, with the exception to medical procedures, and I'm talking about non serious ones here. But people should be listened to. I don't even understand their reluctance to do so, as in they didn't benefit personally or professionally by insisting I changed my mind. Beyond being stuck in the 'whip everything out' mentality.

The weird skin sensation is because tiny nerves under the skin will have been injured by the procedure. This is normal and happens regardless of which operation is undertaken and will lessen over time. I expect the medical team felt that the procedure offered was the best for you at the time. Good luck with your recovery. 💐

You deserve an apology at the very least.. When I was having an emcs I was approached quite forcefully to agree to my tubes tied at the same time. I had never spoke about this previously.. It certainly wasn't in my medical notes. I was about to have major surgery resulting in a prem baby and they wanted consent for that! I refused and my consultant himself came and apologised on her behalf and asked if I wanted to make a formal complaint.. I didn't as was glad my dc was alive and well. Yanbu to complain op..

After my third child was born I needed a manual removal of the placenta and the obstetrician tried to persuade me to have my tubes tied at the same time. I was pretty mad, and said loudly so that all in the theatre could hear ‘I do not consent. If you tie my tubes, I’ll sue you.’

I went on to have other children.