Mum struggling since toddler home from hospital

[DKebab29]

Hi everyone.
Has anyone else found this?
My toddler has been rushed to hospital for breathing issues twice in 3 weeks. Last time she was admitted for a couple of days and I had to stand over her bed holding an oxygen mask most of the night. The doctors and nurses were amazing and made it as nice an experience as possible, but since we’ve been home the last time I’ve been struggling mentally. I have struggled in the past with my mental health and worried this has pushed me too much. Then I feel guilty! I didn’t suffer with postnatal depression, but is there such thing as post hospital depression/anxiety? Just need to know I’m not alone feeling like this and it will pass.
Thank you for listening to me babble ☺️

Yes definitely you can have a bit of a crash after a traumatic event - sort of like a mild form of PTSD even.

It must have been horrible to see your LO so unwell. Is she better now or are there ongoing worries about what the underlying cause might be?

Yes, I think you can get post-hospital trauma and depression.

One of mine nearly died and ended up in intensive care at 3 weeks old. It took me years to get over. Then they had a rare possibly life-threatening condition a few years later. Again, traumatic and terrifying.

I've never fully gotten over it even a couple of decades later (it does recede into the very far background eventually but the memories can still be triggered strongly).

Of course it's normal my love.

Watching your child be so unwell whilst you feel pretty helpless is one of the most difficult things you can go through as a parent.

Add to that, you had little to no sleep in the hospital, with probably not much time to take to let yourself recover now (because, toddlers!) and it's your mental health has taken a knock.

Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, ask for help, accept said help! You will come through it

Definitely normal. My second child was hospitalised for a few days at 11 months old on oxygen for bronchiolitis. That was a few years ago now and I can still remember so much of it so vividly and it brings back the nauseous fear and anxiety I had throughout. It was so scary and it turned me from a mum who was generally quite chilled about childhood illnesses into one that started to worry much more about them. The initial trauma obviously improved with time but I definitely haven't gone back to how I was before it happened. My third child is a few months old now and I think that experience with my second child really affected my pregnancy and newborn period with this one tbh, the fear of them being ill.

Yes, slightly different but my older dc had two traumatic medical emergencies requiring hospital treatment. After each one I felt like I had been pummelled - I was exhausted, panicky, and felt very low.

The only other time I felt similar was after my mum died suddenly when I was with her (also traumatic/unexpected).

I think it’s related to the shock? Best guess

There absolutely is. As others have said be kind on yourself; take up offers of help.

It is early days and well done for recognising the impact this had on you.

Do seek help via your GP in due course if you need it.

You're not alone, OP. It has been a traumatic time for you and that takes a while to process. My youngest has had several hospital admissions due to breathing difficulties - the first time was very serious and it affected me a lot. I have found it has got better over time, but if you are finding it doesn't then it might be you need help for PTSD. For now though, be kind to yourself and hug your daughter lots.