Neighbour won't leave me alone

[CMR10]

Hello just looking for some advice and to know how you would act and feel if you were in this position?

my neigbour who lives next door constantly won't leave me or my partner alone. We are a young couple When my partner starts work at 8am, he purposely walks onto his drive to talk to him this is very stressful as we have just had a baby and he is trying to get to work after a night awake sometimes with the baby. If he is not on his drive he is in the window putting his finger on his watch and shouting your going to be late, we have a ring doorbell and everytime I leave the house I have to check it because I know he will be outside running onto the drive, this is giving me anxiety, if he even hears me leaving the house he is there.
It is difficult to not like him as he has posted cards through the door even with money for the baby in the past and will ocassionly pick up items from the local supermarket and leave them outside the door, for example a pack of doughnuts if there was an offer on, I always tell him you didn't have to do that and try to refuse them.
He is a 73 year old man, I do try my best to chat to him occasionally but when I do he will talk for an hour, and everytime I say we'll I better go I need to feed the baby, he will keep trying to keep the conversation going and ignore me.
His wife left him 10 years ago and lives alone,
I have noticed he is making a regular habit that every Friday on the way home from work he asks my partner to come over his house, it could be his tv isn't working or he wants help setting up a camera, this is very upsetting sometimes as I look forward to spending time with my partner, he works till 6pm and if he goes over there he could be there for an hour. My partner gave him his number once when he first moved in as he constantly kept asking for it, but had no idea the amount of times he would message him. My partner has no problem every once in a while talking and helping him with the odd Job now and then but it almost is all the time lately it's getting me down.

As im typing this my partner has just rang me saying he has rang him and said can he look at his car as somethings broke which he does on a regular basis.

Stop entertaining it. Don't answer the phone. Return any doorstep gifts.

Sounds like a nice, lonely old man, if it's not convenient your partner should say I'll get back to you can't do it now.

@custardpyjamas this isn’t nice behaviour it’s intrusive and rude to make such frequent demands on a neighbours time.

Is a difficult situation as family have said, he's lonely, don't ignore him.
It's just so constant it's getting to much.

Lonely old man my arse. If he is lonely he can help himself instead of torturing his neighbours. You need to put boundaries in place and possibly be quite blunt

So what if he's lonely how's that your problem? Tell your family or whoevers saying he's lonely to go listen to him for hours then!!

I had and now moved have a neighbour a bit like this, not so full on though because I learned from the first one that people with time on their hands always assume everyone else has time on their hands too.

What I do to maintain peace is, make sure I have everything ready to get into the car or off down the road if walking with no potential to stop and chat. I always say Hello and smile. I then proceed to tell them that I'm sorry, can't chat today as I'm running late. At all times keep moving and don't stop, whether that's loading the car or checking pockets. If you stop and look at him for any length of time he will settle in for a long chat.

I always try and make a little time each week to stop for a chat but again use the same, oh goodness I need to get on, so lovely chatting to you, bye if it goes on for too long. Don't answer any further questions, just be clear you are going. And immediately move off.

It does curb it so you can manage it easier.

You can't stop him without telling him which might be awkward but you can change your behaviours.

When you leave do not stop. If he comes over you keep walking. Load up the car and talk without looking at him. When you are ready just open your door and say breezily 'got to rush now. Bye' and shut your door.

Your dh has to message back and say 'sorry not free today'. That's it. No excuses. Just that. Or don't open the message.
If he rushes over when your dh arrives home he needs to say 'look mate I'm so buggered. Long day can't chat' and he must walk straight in.
Once a week or when you feel able you can chat to him but limit it. Firm boundaries

Send him round to their house so they can entertain him.

Some of these replies are brutal when talking about an old man who is obviously desperately lonely. I hope you never end up like that in your old age.
Of course you can say it’s not your problem but it wouldn’t take much effort to investigate if there are any local drop in centres or meet-ups for OAPs and mention them to him when you see him.

This is excellent advice.
The neighbour doesn't seem to feel bad monopolising your time so don't feel bad about being direct, your time is precious too.

I have mentioned this to him and he refuses to go to any groups. He isn't as helpless as he makes out, he still drives and will Swear at other neighbours, shouts at them to get there attention, makes inappropriate comments about females that live in the street.

Tags me in videos on Facebook regularly. I feel sorry for him, just wondering on individuals opinions.

He sounds like more of a creep now.

Don't feel sorry for him. Not all lonely people are lovely - often there's a reason. His wife left him, he shouts at neighbours, makes inappropriate comments about women. Basically he's a pest, and he's not your problem. Suggest your husband leaves his texts as unread. Take the advice here about being in a rush when you leave the house.

If he's fit and can drive (which it appears he can), he can get out into the community to find company.

And this is why society is cold and callous.

He is lonely you might be the only human contact he has. It's so isolating living alone. But he can't take all of your time. You need to put some boundaries in place, but kindly. Tell him when you go to work, you need to go to work it isn't a time you can afford to chat. However compromise on some time, maybe invite him for a cup of tea, or allow your husband to fix his things once a week.

One day when you're 70 you might need some support. Be kind.

Nonsense, @lovemetomybones . WHY should the op be kind? Why should women be kind at the expense of their own time, sanity and peace of mind??

The old man isn't being kind to them, is he? He's deliberately being a pain and not thinking about them.